


Untamable

by Evanescent_Silence (orphan_account)



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Gen, M/M, the gritty cat ears!AU no one ever asked for, this thing is around 5 or 6 years old and was never finished
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2009-07-14
Updated: 2015-05-04
Packaged: 2018-03-28 22:26:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 39,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3872032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Evanescent_Silence
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kanda is a unique genetically altered being - a human/panther hybrid. Refusing to live in slavery, he escapes, only to meet a little human boy with strange silver eyes that just WON'T leave Kanda alone. To be tamed or not to be... (relic from FF.net. Forever incomplete)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Heart of the Animal

**Author's Note:**

> I'm am so sorry.
> 
> Also, fair warning: it is incomplete. And it will stay that way.

* * *

**.:.::.::Untamed::.::.:.**

_"[...] The beginning is never the clear, precise end of a thread, the beginning is a long, painfully slow process that requires time and patience in order to find out in which direction it is heading, a process that feels its way along the path ahead like a blind man, the beginning is just the beginning, what came before is nigh on worthless. [...]"  
_ José Saramago, (Portuguese writer, won the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1998)

* * *

Kanda, ever since the tender age of four, had known he was beautiful.

As - like usual - the Shop's Assistants dragged his cage to the center of the stage, to the proper place in the exact center where the spotlights were focused so the clients could see him perfectly, he could see – almost smell in the air - the awe, the admiration, and sometimes even the lust that flashed in all those pairs of human eyes that filled the exhibition room, gleaming in the darkness sinisterly.

It made his skin crawl.

A snarl escaped Kanda. He felt the black and silver collar around his throat vibrate against his skin with it.

He noticed how those eager gazes drank in his pale and smooth skin, his long and graceful limbs, the long hair that cascaded down his back in a waterfall of inky black tresses, even the glossy black fur that covered his long tail and his feline ears. Even the plain white tunic he wore - like all Pets in this Shop - despite its simplicity, seemed to contribute to his beauty, if only by not distracting people's attention with unnecessary adornments. The lithe boy, even immobile and sitting on his haunches, had an air of pride and gracefulness to him.

After they'd raped him with their eyes, they would finally look up at his face, gasp, and forget how to breathe as they stared at the absolutely flawless features – the sharp angles, the dark eyes that were actually dark blue, the straight nose, the pale pink lips. Most would think he was a female - until the Announcer's voice rang through the room, " _Yuu Kanda, male, age thirteen, created and raised for seven years in our laboratories in Japan-_ "

Oh yes. One could say that where aesthetic values of human beauty were concerned, Kanda was the pinnacle of genetic manipulation, a true beauty. From every angle, he was perfect…

" _\- all others died, making this specimen the only one of his kind. Unfortunately, it seems we have yet to develop a technique to create individuals using this exotic species. Yuu may seem beautiful, like a frail flower that blooms in the beginning of Winter, but his panther genes unfortunately bestowed him with more than the animal's gracefulness and beauty - he also possesses its dangerous and untamable nature, and, we are sorry to say, its killing instincts whenever he feels threatened, which-_ "

…yet a flawed beauty at the same time.

Not that Kanda was complaining. He was what he was; why complain? It could be worse. He knew of worse. He'd seen Experimental Pets, so yeah. He _knew_ of worse.

So he rarely complained, be it about his general existence or specific situations, like this one. He faced it all rather stoically, if not indifferently. It just didn't matter.

In cases like this Exhibition, he would try to meditate and ignore the annoying Assistants chattering as they went about their work around his cage, then the exposure to the stupid costumers, and then continue to ignore the stupid usual speech. First the Announcer would let the costumers gape at Kanda for a few minutes, then introduce him - and dutifully inform them of his 'problem', trying to sugarcoat the whole business - and then would proceed to describe all his unique characteristics, trying to woo one of the costumers into buying him,-

" _-not like the tame, boring kittens we're all so used to. Personally, I'd say he would be perfect for an owner who likes feisty personalities. I'd love to buy him myself-_ " the Announcer chuckled.

Che. Yeah right. He always said the same thing. ' _Would love to buy me, my ass_.' The sarcastic thought crossed Kanda's mind, somewhat disrupting the calmness of meditation. He focused on concentrating once more, drowning out the rest of the speech.

" _-the unique ears, larger than average, and his plush black fur, not to mention, as I'm sure you are all aware, the sheer beauty of his body and face. His creators designed him to reach the average height of a human male once he's fully matured. Now, if you'd like to see him better, please inform your assigned Companion and you'll be allowed to step closer to inspect him-_ "

Ah. The final part. Usually too annoying for him to keep meditating. Well, he'd try to continue doing it until the irritation got the better of him. Kanda remained sitting still in the middle of the cage, eyes closed and hands folded on his lap as the Announcer neared the end of his usual speech about him.

" _-but as you are aware, we are dealing with an incredibly dangerous wild animal here. He has attacked humans more than once-_ " Kanda had to suppress a smile as the Announcer began talking faster and somewhat grudgingly. Clearly, he wished the Law didn't force him to reveal that kind of information, " _-and he does not hesitate to resort to his natural ability to use his claws with murderous intent skillfully. So I repeat, please do not approach the cage. Keep more or less a meter between yourself and the barriers, so that you will not be in risk of getting harmed."_

Because they had tried tying him up - it hadn't worked - and they had tried chaining him - that _definitely_ hadn't worked - and they had tried distracting him with food - that hadn't worked either. They didn't want to sedate him, because then they wouldn't be able to show off the gracefulness with which he moved or the rare colour of his eyes. Besides, if the customers realized that he was dangerous enough to have to be sedated just so he could be displayed, well… the probability of one of them buying him would decrease… even more, that is. So the only alternative left was keeping him in an iron cage and warning the customers to not get too close.

And drag them back and away from it really quickly if they ignored the warnings.

Silence reigned in the room for a moment after the Announcer finished speaking; then a low buzz filled it as, like usual, more than half the room immediately turned to the Shop's servant accompanying them and requested to see Kanda up close. And, oh joy, today was one of those days when they had a full house. That was just Kanda's luck. His tail whipped angrily behind him without Kanda's notice, and the two Assistants behind his cage jumped a step back warily.

It was almost time for the moment when all those disgusting, irritating humans would crowd around his cage, and then one by one, guided by their Companion, get closer to 'inspect' him. Ugh.

Usually, the customers wouldn't resist the urge to do more than stare at him, which in itself was enough to have Kanda pacing around the cage angrily, glaring and hissing, black ears flattened against his skull; more often than not the humans would try talking to him (which earned them angry sentences in harsh Japanese, or extremely rude comments in English about the customers themselves or their mothers if they were especially annoying or disgusting), pat his cage, or offer him something through the bars, like some leftover food from their dinner they'd brought from their table or sweets. It was just… annoying. Disgusting. Kanda loathed it all.

The one thing Kanda liked, the one thing that curious customers sometimes did that Kanda liked best, was actually try to _touch_ him. And why did he like that? Because then he could indulge in the guilty (or not so guilty) pleasure of digging his sharp claws into their soft flesh, and their blood would splatter on the iron cage and the floor; they'd shriek and clutch at their injury like they were dying, and he'd feel really good for a change.

Once, after he'd managed to almost gouge out a fat old man's right eye – and rip off nearly half his face - Kanda heard the Assistants comment amongst themselves in whispered, horrified tones that he always seemed in a better mood after he'd managed to hurt someone, and that they'd rather face a real, normal man-killing panther than Kanda.

He'd smirked smugly for a week after he'd heard that. The Assistants had feared for their lives during that week. More than a third had quit before the week was over.

The soft sound of a dress dragging across the floor reached his ears, making them perk up and turn towards the sound, and Kanda readied himself, tucking his tail around his folded legs. He knew soon he'd be too furious to keep on meditating. Maybe this would even be one of those days when, in his rage, he would throw himself against the iron bars, trying to reach the humans so he could rip out their throats.

But since he couldn't fit through the bars or just magically appear out of the cage, that remained as an impossible fantasy.

With one last sigh, Kanda opened his midnight-blue eyes, looked up at the human lady in a red dress looking down at him with excited brown eyes, and _growled_.

No one had ever wanted to buy him. Even with all his appealing characteristics – his beauty, the fact that he was a unique specimen no one else had, his exotic appearance that would normally appeal to Collectors (tail and ears longer than average, ears with a slightly sharper form, even better senses than other genetically altered pets, etc.) – his aggressiveness had kept them at bay during the years after he'd left the laboratories in Japan and been brought here to be sold.

The customers always approached him in a daze, mesmerized, grabby hands inching towards him, but they would always step back before the steely glint in his beautiful dark eyes. The animal part of the humans, their instincts, could sense the pure and undiluted anger and the danger. Even if they didn't quite understand what it was that made them step back hurriedly and almost fall on their backs in fright, the low growl vibrating in Kanda's chest almost immediately made them get the message. _Don't get near me,_ his teeth, similar to a human's but slightly longer – especially the canines – and one hundred times sharper, seemed to say, _unless you want to die._

As soon as the sound reached their ears, the humans would almost jump, and they would stare, terrified, their hearts beating wildly in their chests, at the panther baring his claws in front of them, sometimes even having tried to strike them and having instead hit the bars, leaving slashes on the iron about one inch in depth. _Slashes on the iron_.

' _No wonder no one has ever bought him_ ', they would think as they walked (or stumbled) away, leaning on their Companion's level and reassuring arm and feeling relief wash over them as they put some much needed distance between them and the dark-haired wild beast inside that cage.

However, Kanda reflected for the millionth time as his eyes followed every movement of the newest prying customer inspecting him up close, one day things might not happen that way. Some creep would be stupid enough to ignore his fear of Kanda, or even be turned on by it, and they'd buy him. As the Owner, they would be able to do whatever they wanted to him. Beat him up, drug him (though unless the drugs were powerful enough to knock him out, they'd have no effect whatsoever on him), let him starve, mutilate him, torture him, whatever they wanted. Unlike at the Shop, Owners didn't have to worry about his physical condition or how he looked unless they wanted to. They had every right to do as they pleased with their Pets – even killing them slowly for their entertainment if they so chose.

And if someone had the guts to buy Kanda, certainly they wouldn't hesitate to use _any_ means to control him if he tried to be violent.

Apart from a few laws that demanded complete honesty from the Shops towards the customers, there were no regulations for Pets – as human/animal hybrids, no rights had been acknowledged since they didn't belong to either of the worlds, and so far no governments had bothered to change that due to the difficulties such a process presented.

Ever since the first human/animal hybrid Pet had been created just a few years ago, existent ethical organizations had raised an uproar, and soon after that associations and organizations that fought for the Pets' rights, safety and well-being in general began sprouting up everywhere, but to no avail. To that day, things remained the same. Pets were little more than half-human slaves.

Kanda was pretty certain he could take any kind of torture and still stay sane and not break. But for the rest of his life? He was like a prisoner in the Shop – always inside a cage, either the small one for the exhibition show or a bigger one in the front hall when they wanted to show him off outside of the exhibition schedule, or his personal rooms with the small bedroom and the entertainment room – closed, with no windows, and filled with surveillance cameras that caught every angle.

But being a slave, subject to every and any whim of his Master or Mistress?

Like _Hell_ he was going to be like that.

* * *

**...**

* * *

Lying on his small nest of blankets, Kanda's ears flattened against his head as he glared at the darkness; his long tail lashed out, making the thin sheet covering his small thirteen-year-old form rise and expose him.

With an annoyed sigh, the small panther hybrid lowered his tail again, curling up with it, and impatiently tugged the sheet up to cover him again. He was still thinking about what he'd been thinking of during the exhibition.

He would _not_ be a slave.

So. The best – or rather, _only_ – way of getting out of this and running away… what was it?

Kanda considered his possibilities for a few moments, the tip of his soft furry tail flicking thoughtfully against his chin. The time when he'd have the most chances for a successful escape would be… right before he had to be taken out of his cage to be handed over to his new owner. Oh yes. That'd be the perfect chance.

But they were probably going to sedate him so they could safely get him out his cage – using a dart, like usual, since that didn't require them to get near him.

So Kanda wasn't really sure if he'd manage to escape even then. How would he get out of the cage unless they opened it? And they wouldn't open it until they were sure he was knocked out… How could he manage to _not_ get drugged?

It was while pondering on all of this that eventually the panther-boy fell asleep.

* * *

**. _.._**

* * *

Well, you can never guess what Lady Luck's got in store for you until it punches you in the face (and more often than not it has a damn wicked left hook), and it turned out Luck was on Kanda's side.

He'd never really looked for a way out until then; so he began paying more attention, and he became more aware of the little things happening around him – like the different Assistants' schedules, or how the locks on his cages were opened, or where the keys were kept.

And how fragile the iron bars could be if he worked them long enough with his claws. Though it was a pain to do it for a while after they'd been trimmed, since short claws didn't do the job as well as long ones. And yes, they did trim Kanda's claws regularly, and they also gave him baths and other such things – after they were sure the sedative in the dart they'd shot him with had taken full effect.

So he'd been taking notice of all these details. Things were always carefully executed according to the orders given, and mistakes were severely punished. Therefore it surprised him a little two or three weeks later, when he was slowly calming down after the exhibition backstage, still panting and leaning on the bars of the small cage, he tiredly opened his dark eyes and realized there was an Assistant quietly snoring on the floor, half leaning against the boxes cluttered behind the stage, an empty bottle by his side (with 'Vodka' written on its label, not that Kanda could read it…) and a set of keys almost falling out of his pocket. So _temptingly_ almost falling out of his pocket. The metal even shined alluringly at the caged feline-boy.

Well, it's not polite to refuse a gift. Especially a gift from Lady Fortune.

The guy was just out of Kanda's small arms' reach, and technically safe from an attack, but…

Midnight-blue eyes flashed dangerously in the dark as his pale lips curved in a grim smirk, pure white sharp teeth reflecting the little light escaping from the main room into the backstage. Kanda had more than just his arms…

So after checking carefully that no one was around yet (soon more Assistants would be back to drug him and move him to his room once he lost consciousness) and turning his ears to every side to catch any sounds of people approaching, Kanda slowly slid his agile tail out between the iron bars towards the keys.

A small tap, and they fell on the ground.

It wasn't like Kanda's tail was prehensile; he had been created with a panther's genes, not a lizard's or a monkey's, or something. His tail couldn't grab things. But it could damn well drag them, and so it did. He hastily grabbed them once he could reach them and looked around once more for any possible witnesses.

No one. Kanda's black ears moved quickly, listening intently. Not a sound of approaching steps from any direction either. And all the scents he caught were fading already, being a few minutes old. No new scents.

Looking down at the keys in his pale hand, Kanda thought for a moment and then shrugged. Well, he wouldn't get a better opportunity than this.

So he turned towards the lock that kept his cage closed, fumbled with the keys (trying to make as little noise as possible) until he found the right one, opened the door and then closed it again, stepping silently out of his prison. Looking around once more, almost surprised by the lack of walls close to him or bars framing his vision field, the lithe half-human boy soundlessly headed towards the door that, judging by how he sometimes saw Assistants wearing normal clothes instead of the Shop's uniform coming through it, lead outside.

Moving quickly, he opened the door slightly and peered outside.

Well. That was unexpected.

In the exterior, there was a parking lot with a few cars here and there, a few lampposts casting circles of white light on the wet ground, breaking the darkness of the moonless night, and a soft breeze reached Kanda's nose, carrying the smell of oil, metal, the heavy scent of rain and of something fresh.

He'd managed to find a door that led outside directly. _Nice_.

Kanda had rarely been outside. Most of what he knew of the human world, of the outside world, he'd learned through the television in his entertainment room and the occasional rare conversation with another Pet (other Pets weren't quite as controlled and heavily watched over as Kanda was… but they were also very stupid and irritating, so usually the panther-boy didn't bother contributing with much in those so-called conversations… just a short reply here and there and quite a few grunts. And 'che's, if they were getting too irritating).

So this was a first. But whatever. He had to get out and run away, having no time to waste marveling about first impressions and such.

Smelling the strange new scents, Kanda stepped through and closed the door behind him quietly, then walked down the three steps before him and crouched next to them, scanning his surroundings.

There was a tall metal fence surrounding the parking lot. Barbed wire on top of it. And another two fences like that one beyond it. Hmmm. That could be a problem if he didn't want to leave any traces.

But hell, they would soon notice he was missing. And it's not like the holes in the fences would tell them exactly which direction he had taken.

Beyond the fences, there was an empty street, then a few houses, and after that, trees and trees and trees.

It seemed he had been fortunate enough to, on top of having found a door that led directly outside, found the door to the back of the building, the one that turned toward the forest. Which sounded incredibly unrealistic, too easy. Were the Shop owners so confident in their staff that they thought all their safety measures were enough? Was that why they didn't have more corridors and rooms and guards, and didn't feel bothered about having a door that would allow one to quickly escape so close to where they kept their Pets?

Or was it because most Pets would never even dream of trying to escape that there was almost no security to make them unable to leave, only to keep thieves from breaking in?

In the dark, Kanda shrugged his shoulders, and shook his head a little, as if to make the stray thoughts stop. He didn't have time for this. _Focus._

With one last glance around, Kanda stood up from the protection of the steps and ran towards the fence, allowing the retracted claws hidden underneath his human-looking nails to come out, sharp and dangerous looking.

Just a few small holes, maybe crossing a few mined zones, nothing much for someone that could tear such fences easily and smell the mines. After that it was just a matter of crossing a street and he'd be free. Truly, magnificently, absolutely free. And they would never catch him again.

For the second time that night, Kanda smirked in glee.

* * *

**...**

* * *

He was just so _hungry_.

Oh, sure, he had instincts, desperateness, and knowledge (gotten from the National Geographic programs he used to watch on the TV…) enough to hunt. Heck, Kanda even had the innate skill.

Problem was, there wasn't enough food for him to catch. A few small birds. Rats, lots of them. One or two hares, occasionally, which were now a feast to him whenever he caught one. And little more than that.

When he ventured closer to the mountains, he sometimes caught the scent of what he later found out was moose.

They were too big for him.

Right now, Kanda was too small to even hope to get out alive of a fight with one of those. When he was older, and with a proper strategy, maybe, but not right now, and Kanda was well aware of that.

It had been raining a lot lately, so the raven-haired boy hadn't been able to even light a fire and had to eat the meat raw. Not that he minded it that much, but he hated getting all sticky with blood. And cooked food tasted so much better.

Hell, how he missed soba.

The white tunic that had been his only type of clothing during his time in the Shop was now little more than a dirty brown and green rag that barely covered his body.

His once soft and glossy black fur was now harsh, filled with knots and covered in more dirt than he liked to think of. Same for his long black hair.

His once perfect alabaster skin was dirty and covered in scrapes and other minor wounds. His nails… well, his claws were fine - being used quite often and carefully cleaned afterwards because it was easy with them being so long - but let's not talk about his nails. And his feet were cold almost all the time.

And he hadn't been able to take off the damn black and silver collar around his neck, goddamnit.

So in terms of life quality, being free _sucked_.

However, other than that, Kanda had been having a good time for the first time in his life. He had the kind of personality that enjoyed being pushed and tested to the limit again and again, taking pride in facing harsh conditions and surviving every day. He liked the freedom; he liked how he could run for miles and miles and not be constricted by walls or fences or chains or someone else's will. He loved hunting too – the thrill of searching for an appetizing scent, stalking his prey, and finally the moment when he killed it. He loved it all.

Which reminded him.

Right now, he was _so hungry_.

Starving, to be precise.

Last thing Kanda'd eaten had been a skinny rat. That had been… three days ago. Bleh. The weather had progressively gotten colder and colder, and whatever small animals there had been to eat had all ran away to where food was abundant – meaning, near the city Kanda had abandoned more or less three weeks ago.

As he forced himself to head towards the city, Kanda's stomach growled loudly, and he felt somewhat light-headed. He knew he could survive longer than most without food, but this was getting ridiculous. He wanted food - he really, really wanted it, and he wanted it _now_.

Even if he had to approach that cursed place to get it.

* * *

**. _.._**

* * *

That day, after classes were over, Allen felt like sitting on the merry-go-round. Unlike the other devices in the playground, this one was in a corner near the trees, almost hidden behind the tall bushes that almost surrounded it completely. It was a cozy and secluded corner.

Running down the street as fast as he could, Allen was like a brilliant flash of white light – not just because he was running so fast, but because he was all white and light colours. Pale skin, grey eyes, and, oddly enough, short white hair. The only thing with a darker colour and even odder than his achromatic hair was on the left side of his face in the form of a striking dark red tattoo: it began as an upturned five-pointed star on his forehead, above his left eyebrow. Then a line went down from the top of the star and across his eyelid, down to his cheek, where it turned left and then down again in a curved shape, following the curve of his cheek. Under his eye, a small, slightly undulating line crossed the main one. Curiously, the tattoo and the strangely coloured hair only contributed to his beauty – Allen was indeed a beautiful boy, his soft and still somewhat childish features almost unearthly, illuminated by those big pools of grey and blue that were his eyes; his pale complexion, complemented by the whiteness of his hair, sometimes made him seem to almost glow from the inside. Even the tattoo was just the right splash of colour in all that white. Allen was beautiful, but very different.

His appearance made many people wary and suspicious of him - mostly parents of the other children from his school - but despite his strange looks, Allen was a very nice and kind boy, always polite and more mature than other children his age. Anyone who actually talked to him couldn't help but feel captivated by his soft voice, calm manners and subtle charm. His smile cheered and reassured people. His surprisingly intelligent remarks impressed them. And so on. Still, those who didn't ever come into direct contact preferred to avoid him.

He liked to go to that playground sometimes, even though he was already twelve years old – he liked to be there when it was empty at the end of the day, and it was on his way home, anyway.

One day, he would perhaps bring his friends here, when he felt prepared to share this place with them. For now, he enjoyed spending the last hours of light alone in this place. Beyond it, there was just the endless forest that covered the area from there to the mountains, so the wind was fresh and carried that clean scent of wood, leaves, soil and…. wilderness… that Allen loved.

So he entered the playground and went immediately to that almost hidden corner where the merry-go-round was, letting his heavy school bag fall to the ground next to it with a grateful sigh.

Then he remembered the leftover sandwiches from lunch he had in there and almost tripped as he abruptly bent down to open the bag and check if they had been squished or something.

Sighing in relief once he saw that those delicious sandwiches were practically intact (except maybe for the small bite he decided to take from the tuna one in order to celebrate the fact that the sandwiches were safe even after being thrown around so carelessly), he put them back where they were and took out the book he'd borrowed from the school library before leaving the school and sat down, fidgeting a bit to get in a more comfortable position.

But then two or three small branches from those tall bushes that had grown too close to the merry-go-round were poking his back so he had to lay aside his book while he shoved them back.

With that done, he went back to reading and quickly immersed himself in the book.

Allen just _loved_ horror books.

The afternoon was, as it always was in that area, quiet and peaceful. Being the first week of October, the wind was beginning to get chilly; most trees had already begun losing their leaves, and the days were quickly getting shorter, so as Allen read, surrounded by the golden, orange and brown hues of the fallen leaves on the ground, the grey sky quickly began turning orange and red as the sunset approached.

Occasionally, Allen briefly paused in his reading to glance around, feeling peaceful as he admired his surroundings: the reddening sky, the trees, the ground covered in leaves, even the old merry-go-round where he was sitting, noticing how the old blue paint was cracking and falling off in some places, revealing the rusty metal underneath.

As he looked back down at the book, he suddenly noticed something in the corner of his vision field. He turned his head to see what it was (maybe a squirrel had decided to sit on his bag? That had happened before…) and there, coming out of the bushes, was a pair of dirty white hands searching through his bag.

Stunned, Allen didn't move as he watched them move about (it wasn't like he had money in there, so he wasn't worried) - but then the hands stopped and took out his two remaining sandwiches. _Allen's_ sandwiches.

And that was it for Allen's stunned silence.

"Hey!" he shouted indignantly as he threw away his book and dove to grab that pair of thieving hands and his sandwiches with a possessive roar, "That's mine!"

And because Allen was Allen, the white-haired child had used too much force as he leaped and ended up falling into the bush. The tiny branches scraped his soft skin and he let out a grunt as he hit something solid that gave way under him. Then Allen was rolling down the slight elevation located behind the bush along with whatever he'd knocked off, and little stones and other pointy things dug into his back viciously as the world rolled madly around him, and all Allen saw was light and darkness as his face was turned towards the sky or the ground.

Then it all halted suddenly when he hit yet another solid thing, but this time it remained in place. As Allen's head kept spinning for a bit, his breath was knocked out of him when the solid 'something' from before crashed into him; but it disappeared from his side almost immediately with a rustling of dead leaves.

 _What was that?_ adisorientated Allen tried to think, even as his head insisted on spinning madly, _What was I…?_ He noticed the mangled sandwich hanging pitifully from his right hand. _Oh._

Oh, right, he'd tried taking his food from the sandwich thief, but he'd somehow fallen into the bush, probably hitting the thief in that process, and then rolled down to where he was.

 _Wait, only one sandwich?_ Little Allen glared at the one he was currently holding as if it was its fault. _What about the other one?_

A tree had stopped his mad rolling, and now he was upside down, his shoulders on the ground, but the rest of his back leaning against the tree's trunk, and his short legs hanging down. In that position, all he could see was his own backside and legs, the tree that had stopped him, and the roof of the forest, bits of the sky visible among the brown and green leaves. So where was the thief?

Allen immediately scrambled to his feet and sat up, not dusting himself off just like every kid his age, and his clear grey eyes were immediately attracted to the figure a few steps away, and was surprised to find a furious boy's dark eyes glaring into his own.

The first thing he noticed about the other apart from those fierce eyes was his hair – black, long and flowing like a girl's, even though it was dirty (was that a tiny twig sticking out of the side of his head?) and all out of place. The hair fell over his thin shoulders and down to his back, almost hiding from view the brown and green (was that supposed to have been white at some point…?) long shirt thingy he wore, all ragged and with holes all over it. And it only seemed to cover his thighs. _Almost like a dress_ , Allen snickered to himself quietly. But the kid was obviously male, what with that fierce glare and the masculine features (very pretty, though. And strange… what was the word? Asian, yes, Asian) of his face. And the flat chest, though girls Allen's age didn't have that much of a chest to begin with…

The next thing Allen noticed (and how the Hell hadn't it been the first?) was the long, swishing black tail whipping the ground behind the long-haired kid with a loud rustling of dry leaves, and the two very big black cat ears on his head. _Real_ cat ears, since they were twitching furiously as their owner glared darkly at poor Allen.

The other child was on all on fours– no, wait, he was not using his knees to support himself, he was on his feet. So it was more like a crouch? And the hand that wasn't on the ground supporting him held a sandwich that was as mangled (if not more) as Allen's.

All in all, the hybrid looked like a wild thing – dirty, beautiful, dangerous, and in its element.

The two children stood frozen staring (or in the cat-boy's case, glaring) at each other, the only movements nearby being those of the hybrid's tail and ears.

Okay, awkward… what now?

 _Why hasn't_ _he run away already?_ Allen thought as he stared at the other, ignoring the death glare and taking in more details, like the scrapes and small wounds all over him and his overall state – it seemed as if the kid had been living in the wilderness for quite some time. _Maybe he's so hungry he wants the other sandwich?_ Allen thought, a twinge of guilt churning unpleasantly in his gut. If there was anything the white-haired boy knew about, that was being so starved all you wanted was food and would stop at nothing to get it, would do anything to get it. Allen knew that very well. And some other things as well. All of them as pleasant as that 'desperately starving' feeling.

Allen felt like he should apologize and so he opened his mouth to speak, but at that moment the cat-boy's tail hit the ground more forcefully than before, his dark glare intensified so that it looked as if he wished Allen would instantaneously drop dead on the ground, and Allen snapped his mouth shut.

Okaaay… what now?

* * *

**. _.._**

* * *

Kanda was doing his best to remain still. Completely still.

His tail and ears seemed to have a life of their own, but he was more or less used to that. He just had to remain immobile so he could control his instincts.

Killing a kid wouldn't do.

The people from the Shop should still be looking for him. If a kid went missing and was later found ripped to shreds, the eager search for Kanda would turn into a vicious hunt.

So he could not kill, even though all his instincts were screaming at him to do it, that he'd _enjoy_ doing it. Not to eat, of course, his human side shrugged off the idea with disgust.

 _Not that that scrawny kid looks like he has enough meat on those bones_ , Kanda thought. The sandwich the white-haired boy had in his hand was quite more appealing.

The human child himself was actually quite strange in Kanda's eyes. Too pretty for a human. And Kanda had never seen one so pale or with white hair – maybe it was dyed? Seemed unlikely, he was quite young. But he even had a tattoo. And quite a bold one, at that. Kanda had learned about tattoos from the TV, but he'd never actually _seen_ one. He'd also heard that many Owners tattooed their Pets, but he'd never met one of those.

And those eerie eyes – big and grey, shining like crystals, and with that intent expression the human wore now, they seemed to pierce right through you and reach your core. On such a pretty face that almost seemed to glow in the shade of the trees, the overall effect was beautiful and almost ethereal, albeit strange.

It was a look fit for an Owned Pet, except that his smell and everything about him screamed 'human'.

Kanda could feel his panic brewing just under the surface, but he kept it under control with an iron will. He didn't have time for that. A human - a human he couldn't kill - had seen him. What should he do?

If he killed him, Kanda already knew what would happen. If he didn't kill him, the kid would tell someone and they would tell the Shop. Which option gave Kanda more chances of escaping? A vicious hunt that would only begin after a few days, when the body was found? Or a gentle but certain persecution that would begin as soon as the kid's words reached the Shop's ears?

The kid was going to say something. Was he going to try to catch Kanda? Had he heard about how the Local Shop was looking for someone like Kanda?

Unable to control it, Kanda's tail moved even more furiously and the human snapped his mouth shut in haste and didn't say anything. Instead he opted for looking at Kanda very calmly. It was almost unnerving. He should ki-

Kanda reigned in on his killing instincts once more. He had to _think_. And focus.

Under the scrutiny of those eerie grey eyes that were looking at him so calmly, Kanda tried to weigh the pros and cons. Pros of killing the kid: no one would know for sure it had been Kanda and it would give him a few days to run away, maybe a few weeks if he hid the body. He could probably cross over the mountains in that time. Cons: the Shop would be given permission to use all means to hunt him down. Someone would probably demand Kanda's head, too. And he would have a hard time finding food. And surviving the cold.

Pros of not killing him: it'd probably take two or three days for the kid's words to reach the Shop's men, giving Kanda enough time to go back to where he had been before. Cons: the men might come look for him in that area, and if he tried to go further up into the mountains or cross over with the pursuers on his heels, he'd have the disadvantage of not knowing the area. Bu-

Wait. The human had moved. What the hell was doing?

Very, very slowly, the white-haired boy had reached out his hand in Kanda's direction, holding out the poor sandwich.

Kanda stared expressionlessly, petrified. _What…?_

Understanding flashed in those strange grey eyes, and the human leaned forward slightly (Kanda's ears went flat against his skull at that, and he frowned) and put the sandwich on the ground, in between them.

Then the kid, moving very cautiously, took a few steps back and sat on the ground with a slight smile, looking very pleased with himself.

The weird human kid was clearly offering the sandwich Kanda had been trying to steal earlier, and he'd stepped away from it both to make the offer obvious and to try to convince Kanda to take it. He seemed almost eager to have his "present" be accepted.

Kanda's eyes narrowed at the sandwich, then up at the pretty human child. Was it a trick?

But Kanda's nose didn't detect any strange scents nearby. The only humanoids in the area were him and the kid, so it couldn't be a way to lure him out so they could catch him… unless… it was drugged…?

Letting the sandwich he was holding fall to the ground as if it had burned his hand, Kanda jumped three steps back and away and glared furiously at the kid.

Had the Shop found Kanda already?! Was the human child just a decoy?

* * *

**. _.._**

* * *

Allen couldn't have been more startled when suddenly, and apparently without reason, the animal kid had dropped the sandwich he already had and fled, before stopping not that much farther away, looking at Allen like he'd deceived him. What was all that about…?

Hmm. Maybe he really couldn't trust humans. Kindness made him suspicious. Figures. But then why was the cat still not running away?

But he hadn't taken Allen's generous offer. Seriously, what a waste! And Allen had acted calm and everything, as not to scare him away! Allen, even if he understood the reaction, couldn't help but feel a little insulted.

Well, if acting calm and being generous wasn't going to cut it, then he might as well eat the food.

So Allen shrugged, went to pick up his sandwich and began munching away happily.

"Too bad, kitty-boy", Allen snickered, "it would have been smarter of you to accept it."

One of those large jet-black cat ears twitched angrily at that, and the death glare intensified once more. Damn, if looks could kill…

"Don't look at me like that. It was your fault." Allen chirped. In the quietness of the forest at sunset, he felt like he was talking too loudly. "Are you going to eat that?" he asked, pointing at the sandwich Kanda had abandoned.

The hybrid's only response was a quick movement that Allen barely caught, and the next moment the sandwich was in Kanda's hands.

* * *

**. _.._**

* * *

The human was talking – he had a disgustingly annoying voice, almost like a girl's – and eating the sandwich he'd offered with more enthusiasm than he should be feeling.

So maybe the sandwiches weren't drugged. Well, that was a relief. And so the Shop still had no idea where he'd went. That was a _huge_ relief.

But now he'd had an idea. His options weren't just to kill the kid or not to kill the kid; there was a third.

Kanda smirked deviously.

* * *

**. _.._**

* * *

Allen had just finished his sandwich, and next thing he knew, he was on his back on the ground with something heavy and warm pinning him to it. There was a strong grip around his throat, constricting, but not making him unable to breathe.

The wild cat-boy leaned forward, and the long black tresses fell around them like a curtain. Allen stared up at the other's beautiful but dirty face, grey eyes wide in surprise.

Kanda lowered his face so that their noses were almost touching, and they could feel each other's breath on their skin. He glared down into the human's pale eyes. "Don't tell anyone you saw me," the cat-boy hissed in a low, dangerous voice. It was raspy, like he hadn't talked in quite a while. "Or I'll kill you."

Surprisingly, the human's reaction was to give him a bright smile. "Of course, if that's what you want." And then he rolled his eyes at him – rolled his eyes! – as if he couldn't sense he was in mortal danger. "You could have just asked, you know."

Kanda blinked.

Twice.

And under him, the pinned human child that should have been scared shitless by now, that should have been screaming or paralyzed with fear, was just there, smiling brightly up at him as if he didn't have a dangerous half-animal threatening to kill him latched on to his throat.

 _Is he an idiot?_ Kanda wondered.

Suddenly the expression in those grey eyes turned from good-naturedly amused to interested, and the human stared intently at Kanda's face. Before the hybrid could let out a warning growl, the white-haired child had leaned forward, ignoring the hand on his throat to get their faces even closer, and then he said in that annoying voice of his -

"Your eyes are blue," Allen said, delighted, and a huge smile appeared on his face, brighter than the previous one, brighter even than the sun. He'd thought the cat-eared boy's eyes were dark brown or black, but now he realized they were a very dark blue instead, with specks of dark grey. His eyes were beautiful beyond comparison, and Allen felt fascinated by them.

Kanda's dark blue eyes widened.

And then he was gone.

Only a few seconds later did Allen realize Kanda had turned tail and ran as fast as he could.

This is how Kanda Yuu met Allen Walker for the first time.

_"All beginnings are involuntary."_

_Fernando Pessoa, Portuguese poet_

_End of Chapter 1_


	2. Mind of the Animal

* * *

"[…] _the "secret" of their being up in the tree had continued for almost two years now. Where the thick trunk branched out near the top, the two could sit comfortably. Michiko, straddling one branch, leaned back against another. There were days when little birds came and days when the wind sang through the pine needles. Although they weren't that high off the ground, these two little lovers felt as if they were in a completely different world, far away from the earth. […]_ "  
"Up in the Tree" [ _Ki-no Ue_ ]

By Kawabata Yasunari (Japanese writer, won the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1968)

* * *

Two days later and still there was no cat-boy to be seen.

That day, the strange Pet (that was the name of that kind of person, right? Or should he say that kind of animal?) had run away like Hell's demons were after him, having disappeared so fast Allen hadn't even seen him go.

And he'd taken the sandwich with him.

During those two days, Allen hadn't gone back to the playground, but he wondered: had the Pet found food? And drinkable water? The weather was getting cold, and the cat only had seemed to have that thin rag to cover him. Would he get sick? And what if he was alone? In the state the cat-boy had been in, he certainly hadn't had anyone to look after him for a long time.

Allen wondered, and worried.

At school, his friends asked why he was so distracted. At home, Mana asked the same. To all of them, all he could do was smile his reassuring, everything-is-okay smile and say he was fine.

But that wasn't exactly true.

The next day, it rained all day long. It rained as if all the water in the world had somehow ascended to the sky and hadn't liked it, and now it descended from the heavens with a vengeance.

As the rain fell, Allen sat on the huge blue pillow next to the window in his room, his grey eyes distant and his mind full of thoughts of a strange creature with a beautiful human face and big black cat ears.

* * *

**. _.._**

* * *

It was the morning of the third day after Allen had seen the black-haired Pet. He'd gotten up earlier than usual and told Mana he was going to walk to school that day.

He'd gotten dressed, eaten his breakfast, grabbed his things, and left the house.

He'd also sneaked a few packages of cookies into his bag.

So now, here he was, the frosty air of the morning making his nose and cheeks rosy, standing in front of the merry-go-round with two packages of chocolate cookies in his hands. No signs of black hair, or a black tail, or a green and brown rag.

Was doing this really worth it? The cat-boy could be miles away already.

Ah well. Might as well try. Besides, maybe he would come back once he got hungry.

So Allen shrugged to himself and left the cookies on top of a rock behind the bush – in plain sight of anyone coming from the forest, but hidden from anyone who came to play on the merry-go-round.

That done, the white-haired boy turned around and left.

* * *

**. _.._**

* * *

_Humpf._

Allen almost felt annoyed. He'd gone back to the playground and, surprise, surprise, the cookies were still there. Untouched.

Little Allen's thin shoulders dropped, and he stared in dismay at the food.

Okay, he'd known that this was probably what was going to happen. But still. He had… hoped.

Little Allen's gray eyes anxiously scanned the surroundings, hoping to find any sign of watching dark eyes, the shadow of too big cat ears, or a glance of a sleek black tail quickly hiding in the bushes, but he got nothing.

His chest felt a little cold, now that he thought about it. He looked around once more. Nothing.

Rubbing his chest absently with his right hand, Allen fidgeted a little, looking down.

He should have been more careful. Now he'd scared away the cat-boy, and he was gone.

But… he could still come, right? Right. The Pet would eventually get hungry, and maybe he'd come to the playground again…

Yes. Yes, that was it! So what if nothing had happened the first time? Allen just had to keep trying.

And with a confident nod to himself, Allen turned around and went home.

* * *

**. _.._**

* * *

Day after day, during the cold beginning of October, even if it rained, Allen got up very early in the morning, put some extra food in his bag and left it behind the bushes on the playground on his way to school.

Every day he picked something different – different kinds of cookies, occasionally a Tupperware container filled with leftovers from the previous night's dinner, more sandwiches. And every afternoon, on his way home, he checked to see if the food had been taken, only to find it where he had left it. Usually he left the food there for the night as well unless it was something easily perishable, but in the morning it was still there.

When it rained almost every day for a week, Allen also managed to sneak a big old woolen blanket out of the house, and he left it inside a plastic bag closed with tape next to the Tupperware dish of food.

Even so, nothing happened.

Many things could have happened to that bad tempered cat kid. He could have gone deeper into the forest (the mountains, maybe?); he could have gone back to wherever he'd come from; he could have died; he could be lying on the ground somewhere, wounded; he could be starving… (he probably was).

And Allen couldn't help but worry.

It could be so cold out there in October; when it rained and you had no way to get dry and warm, you'd freeze in your clothes, you'd lose sensation in your limbs because of the cold… and once winter came and snow began to fall, it'd be even worse. Much, much worse. Allen knew this very well.

Too well.

There had once been a time when a life like that had been everything Allen had known.

So it really was no wonder that he was worried sick.

More or less two weeks after he'd seen the dark-haired Pet for the first time, Allen decided he'd had enough.

* * *

**. _.._**

* * *

"Allen, what are you doing up so early?"

Mana was at the kitchen doorway, wearing his warmest pajamas and the big woolen striped socks that reached his knees, a steaming cup of something in one hand and the newspaper in the other. He looked with surprise at Allen, who had just arrived at the bottom of the stairs. "It's Saturday."

"I know, Mana," Allen chirped with a smile. Mana watched as his son padded across the living room towards the kitchen. "It's just that I want to go to the playground today," the white-haired child added as he walked past his father into the kitchen and began preparing his (larger than average for a kid his age) breakfast.

Frowning, Mana distractedly took a sip from his cup, then hissed and jerked it away when the too-hot hot chocolate burned his lips and tongue. Using the poor newspaper to try and wipe away the stain he'd just made on his pajamas when he had moved the cup so violently, he turned around to face Allen, who was still busy preparing his meal. "That playground near the forest? The one you like to go to after school?"

"Yes, that's the one." Allen smiled up at him, carrying a bowl filled with breakfast cereals from the counter to the table.

"You've been spending an awful lot of time there recently," Mana muttered, almost to himself, once again raising the cup to his lips without noticing it. Fortunately, Allen stopped him with a hand on his elbow, making Mana lower his arm so Allen could take the cup and add some cool milk. "It's just…" Allen began as he poured the milk. "I saw a lost kitten there the other day."

Mana's expression softened, and he took his cup back with a grateful nod.

 _A lost kitten. O_ _f course he would react strongly_ , Mana thought, studying Allen's expression.

He took an experimental sip as Allen turned around to go put away the carton, and smiled when it was just the right temperature. "So what are you going to do?" _You're going to ask me to look after it, aren't you?_

"I want to find it and give it some food," the child replied with a smile directed at Mana as he sat at the table before digging into his bowl of cereals. "…and maybe a blanket or two. Or three," he added quietly as he looked down – embarrassed? Trying to hide from Mana's eyes? Depressed as he remembered something painful from his past? For Mana, it was always hard to tell what his child was feeling. The white-haired boy had more than a few issues, and he tried hard to keep it all in.

But in this case, all Allen needed was encouragement, and Mana knew it.

He walked into the kitchen and stopped next to his son, who hadn't looked up yet and was eating almost mechanically instead of in his usual delighted manner.

"I think it's a wonderful idea."

Allen looked up at his father's warm smile, the smile that praised him and told him everything was fine at the same time, and he couldn't stop his own answering smile.

Though he did feel a twinge of guilt for not telling Mana the whole truth. But the other kid had asked Allen not to tell anyone, asked that with such a deep terror hidden in those entrancing dark eyes despite the threats spilling forth through his lips and the iron fist on Allen's throat that Allen… Allen knew exactly what kind of request that was. It was a matter of survival and sanity; those originated the kind of despair, of fear, that Allen had seen in his eyes.

Allen knew everything about that as well.

Mana's soft voice interrupted his dark thoughts. "I was more or less expecting you to ask me if you could bring it home," his father said, curiosity obvious in his voice.

"I…" At that, Allen visibly hesitated, his spoon full of cereals hanging in mid air. "I… I don't think it would want to come home with me," he finally said, quickly resuming his eating.

Mana blinked. "And why not?"

"It doesn't know me. Don't you always tell me to not talk or go anywhere with people I don't know?" And Allen offered him a bright smile. A bright _fake_ smile.

Mana sighed. _That is something you already knew long before I met you._ But all he said was: "Whatever you think is best, Allen." And he took a long sip from his cup of hot milk, turning away to go to the living-room.

Allen _smiled_.

* * *

**. _.._**

* * *

Okay, he had everything. His backpack had food (for Allen and for the "kitten"), the three blankets (Mana had protested quite vehemently against Allen taking so many blankets for one little kitten. "You're going to asphyxiate the poor thing!" Mana had said anxiously, fearful for the safety – and cleanliness – of his blankets. But he'd fallen silent once he'd caught sight of Allen's infamous puppy face, big teary eyes and sparkly effect included), and a thermos of warm milk and another of hot chocolate (Allen figured a cat-boy would like plain milk. If not they'd have to trade, and Allen very much preferred hot chocolate to milk, even though it was drinkable). He also had a small box of tissues and a lantern he'd put there when Mana wasn't looking (Allen intended to go on searching until right after sunset, so he'd need the lantern on his way home).

He had warm clothes, and his gloves were in his pocket, ready to be used. There was also an umbrella, leaning against the sofa on top of which his bag sat. Allen's watch was on his right wrist. He was ready.

He heard a low chuckle from the sofa behind him. He turned around to glare at Mana. "What?"

"You look like you're about to go on some sort of-" Mana waved his right hand in the air, as if trying to make what he was saying more understandable, "-trek in the mountains, exploration sort of thingy. You have the attitude down to a T."

Allen just smiled warmly. "You're making fun of me, aren't you?"

Mana recognized the hint of a warning in his son's voice. "No, no, no, not at all, not at all!" he hurried to say. "It's just that you look so adorable, all serious about the bag and what you take with you."

The white-haired child blinked. "I am _not_ adorable," he declared seriously with a blank expression, like he was stating a universal, undoubted truth.

"Of course not," Mana agreed, smiling. "So, do you have everything?"

"Yes, I think so." His son's big grey eyes turned to him once more, anxiety swirling in the pearly depths. "Do you think there's anything else I will need?"

"Hmmm, no. That should be enough. You're not going on an excursion or something similar. Just make sure you come back before sunset."

Allen fidgeted a bit. "Can I maybe… come right at sunset? Or a little after? No later than that, I promise."

Mana frowned. "You're going to stay with the cat until so late?"

The child looked down at his feet. "I'm not even sure I'll find him… it." Oops, slight slip there.

Mana didn't notice. He was still frowning slightly, even though the expression had softened. "I want you here at sunset. Is that understood?"

"Yes." Allen nodded.

"Do you want me to go with you? Or your friends?"

The grey-eyed boy shook his achromatic head. "No, there's no need. Besides, I'm sure you have a lot to do, and you know how Daysia's grandfather and Lenalee's brother are."

His foster father just sighed. "Ah, yes. That is true. But are you sure? What I have to do can wait a few hours."

"No, no, you don't have to, really. Besides, with too many people there, it might get scared and run away."

Mana smiled, and got up from the sofa, ready to get to his work.

And so Allen left to look for the cat-eared, black-haired boy he'd seen.

* * *

**. _.._**

* * *

So. This was proving to be difficult.

Allen had left his house around 8 AM, absolutely determined to find the cat-boy. Once he got to the playground more or less fifteen minutes later, he'd passed through the bushes and walked into the forest determinedly.

And now… well. He didn't know the kid's name. Perfect. So he couldn't call and shout his name, even if Allen doubted doing that would make the other come. So, all he could do was… well, look for him. Just like he'd look for a real cat – walking quietly through the forest, checking under bushes and small trees, listening intently in the hopes of hearing something that would tell him the black-haired kid was nearby.

The white-haired human boy did this for hours as the morning went on, walking and walking and looking everywhere. Little Allen's clear eyes moved constantly from one place to the other, trying to take in even the smallest detail in the hope of finding any sign of the cat-boy's presence, but so far… nothing. Every time he thought he'd seen something and looked again, it was just a small animal running away or a strange shadow cast by a plant, and his little heart felt a little bit heavier in his chest.

Around midday, the grey sky had darkened considerably, and soon rain began falling. Hidden under a huge rock, Allen waited for the worse to pass, shaking with cold, his knees tightly drawn to his chest, and rubbing his gloved hands against each other and against his reddened face for some warmth. He chewed unenthusiastically on a sandwich briefly, and then the rain let up and he abandoned his refuge to continue his search.

The long hours of the afternoon seemed to stretch on impossibly as Allen fruitlessly looked for someone who seemed to be invisible.

At a certain point, Allen asked himself a question he probably should have considered earlier.

 _What if I wanted to go home now?_ The little boy thought, looking around at the unfamiliar surroundings. _Would I know the way?_

And from that point on, not only was it a search for a wild hybrid boy, it had also become a search for Allen's way home.

* * *

**. _.._**

* * *

He'd been walking for hours. Hours on end. His legs felt heavy and ached, his small hands were very cold inside their gloves, his pants and his jacket were wet, the umbrella had suffered an unfortunate accident when Allen had tried climbing up one of those really big trees to get an idea of where he was and find his way home, and every once in a while, Allen wished he could throw away his bag so he wouldn't have to carry it anymore.

In other words, he was screwed. Not that he'd use that kind of word out loud (Mana would never forgive him), but it was the truth, and it was okay if it was only once and only inside his head.

It had rained twice since that morning, for brief periods, but this time there hadn't been any convenient big rocks under which Allen could have taken refuge. He'd had to walk in the rain (he didn't really feel like sitting on the wet ground and the mud, even if his exhausted body was begging him to do it).

Allen looked hopelessly at his watch. 7:30. Soon the sun would set, and the cold dark night would arrive.

Things weren't looking good.

* * *

**. _.._**

* * *

Kanda had stayed away from the playground for two weeks and gone west. He wasn't that far away from the city, but close enough to make a swift escape towards the depth of the forest as soon as he sensed the search teams nearby.

So far, nothing. It seemed the human boy had kept his mouth shut after all. Huh. It was almost surprising.

Maybe Kanda would be able to go near the city again. He really needed to get his hands on some food; even someone's leftovers in garbage would be better than the three skinny rats and an edible but horrible-tasting plant he'd eaten recently.

Oh, how he missed soba.

But that day, something quite extraordinary happened.

The cold wind suddenly brought a scent he recognized from somewhere. It didn't set off any alarms in his head, though, so even though he couldn't remember what it was, it shouldn't be a bad thing.

Curious, he descended from the tree he used to sleep in – one of the biggest trees he'd found in the forest, with the curious characteristic of having two of the main branches growing out of the trunk next to each other and above a third one. It was perfect to take refuge in from the rain. Kanda had even created a nest of sorts with some bushes' flexible branches and leaves and lost bird feathers. It wasn't the paradise of beds, but it was better than nothing.

So he left his small 'home', heading towards the origin of the scent.

Soon he could hear noise too – something was moving quite loudly in the forest, stomping through it carelessly. Much like humans did.

More cautiously now, Kanda silently approached and climbed up a nearby tree still covered in leaves so he could see without being seen.

And there, dragging himself pitifully through the mud, covered in warm and stuffy clothes and carrying a heavy backpack, was the Sandwich Kid. Now that Kanda paid attention, he looked quite small.

Right at that moment, the human boy tripped over a twig that wouldn't have been a problem had he been taller, and Kanda snickered to himself. _What a moyashi,_ he thought amusedly.

The white-haired strange kid wasn't looking good, though. He was very visibly getting tired and panting softly. What the hell was he doing so deep in the forest?

Kanda followed him quietly for about two hours. The human seemed to be looking for something, and to be lost at the same time. Occasionally, he'd glance around, obviously trying to decide which way to go, and then turn in a certain direction.

During the last hour, he'd just been walking around in one great, big circle. Not for the first time, Kanda wondered if the other was an idiot. Seriously. Who goes walking in a forest, apparently to look for something, and then gets so hopelessly lost? If he knew that he had no sense of direction whatsoever, why do something so stupid? What was he looking for?

The idea that maybe the human was looking for _him_ did come up in his mind, but he quickly dismissed it with annoyance. As if.

* * *

**. _.._**

* * *

The sunset was approaching quickly, and the eerie kid was obviously exhausted, but he kept walking. Kanda was almost impressed.

Eventually, the sun did set. In the darkness, Kanda's feline eyes could still see pretty clearly, and he watched as the kid took a lantern out of his bag and turned it on.

For yet another hour, the boy walked in the dark, his strange white hair almost glowing.

Then suddenly, he just fell face first on the wet ground of the forest.

 _What the hell?_ Kanda thought. _Did he pass out or something?_ He snorted mentally. _What a weakling._

But Allen's hand was moving, inching towards the fallen lantern; when it reached it, the hand just laid on it tiredly. So he _was_ conscious – maybe he'd tripped and didn't feel like getting up.

Che. If he stayed that way, he was going to die, as surely as the sun rises every day. If he didn't get up and start walking soon, he was a dead human.

It had nothing to do with Kanda, though. Nothing at all. What did he care if the kid died? It wasn't his business. He'd given up, so why help a kid that, on top of being a weakling, didn't have any strength of will? And so Kanda turned around to climb down the tree he was currently occupying to disappear in the darkness and leave the kid behind, when another sound came from where the human lay.

Kanda glanced over his shoulder.

The kid had gotten up, after all.

So Kanda continued watching. Just out of curiosity, of course.

The little human kept tripping over things, and he was so tired that more often than not, he ended up with his face or backside on the ground. But he always got up again and kept walking.

After three hours of this, even Kanda had to admit he was incredibly persistent. No matter how many times he fell - and Kanda had heard him hiss and grunt in obvious pain whenever that happened, so it was also quite painful - he always stood up and resumed walking.

But he wasn't going anywhere. After the big circle from before, he'd started heading in the right direction, but then he'd taken a turn for the left, and now he was walking parallel to where he wanted to go.

Not that it was Kanda's problem. Of course not.

Even though the kid had given him that delicious sandwich. Even offered the other.

Kanda grumbled to himself. Now that he thought about it, he kind of owed the little bastard. In this situation, it would be shameful for Kanda to let the human die.

A yelp pierced the night, and then the sound of a body falling. The kid had tripped and fallen again.

With a sigh, Kanda examined the situation.

Lost kid. Very late at night. People must be searching. The idea of going up to the kid and offering to play guide didn't particularly appeal to Kanda. But he had to somehow tell the little idiot where to go.

It began raining again. Heavy, it almost felt like a tropical rain.

He had to find some way to make the human go in a certain direction…

With a devious smirk, Kanda hopped down from the tree.

* * *

**. _.._**

* * *

There was something coming from Allen's right. Something big, and it was walking fast, breathing heavily. It was galloping, closer and closer, its steps splashing on the pools of mud and water on the ground!

Absolutely terrified, Allen turned in the opposite direction and ran as fast as his small, tired legs allowed him to.

Behind him, Kanda watched him go, smirking amusedly.

Then a heavy raindrop fell on his ear and slid to the inside, and he frantically tried to wipe it off.

* * *

**. _.._**

* * *

The next hour went pretty much like that – Allen walking, sometimes slower and sometimes hurriedly, and whenever he headed in the wrong direction, Kanda would make noise and such so that Allen would go running to the right path again, half-scared to death.

Soon Kanda could smell lots of human scents and hear shouts in the distance, and he immediately understood that they weren't far away from the people looking for the little human. There was no way for the little human himself to know this, however, because his senses were obviously not as sharp as an animal's.

Allen could barely walk anymore. He was extremely tired, and very, very cold. All he wanted was to sleep. He didn't even feel hungry – just sleepy, and bone-deep tired. His body ached all over.

The next time he fell, the ground felt so comfortable as opposed to a standing position that he stayed that way longer than he had before. Not even the falling rain bothered him anymore.

Ten minutes later, he was asleep.

Kanda waited ten more minutes for the damn little bastard to get up, but he didn't. Maybe he _had_ finally passed out.

Silently, Kanda walked among the vegetation until he reached the white-haired boy. Picking up a twig, he poked the human's back.

No reaction.

He poked harder.

Still no reaction.

He shook the bushes and stomped his feet right next to the kid.

No reaction whatsoever.

So Kanda stepped closer and kneeled next to the fallen boy to inspect him, long black tail swishing anxiously behind him as he leaned closer.

Heh. Seemed to be just asleep.

He looked around, and smelled the air (or he tried, anyway - when it rained, it was kind of difficult to do that). His black triangular ears turned from side to side, listening.

From his calculations, the humans were more or less thirty minutes away, maybe less. But even if they reached this place, there was a chance that they would miss the kid.

Kanda pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance. He really didn't have a choice, did he?

The logical thing to do was to get the kid to a place where he would be easily seen. There was no such thing nearby, though. Except for trees. That would have to do.

So Kanda pulled on the human's left arm and put it over his shoulders, and then with much pulling and maneuvers, he managed to get the white-haired child on his back. Picking up the lantern and turning it off, he stood up and began walking towards the big tree in front of them.

Of course he wouldn't take the boy directly to the humans; he didn't want them to see him. He'd leave the kid here and wait and watch from a safe place nearby. If Kanda did things right, the humans would see the boy as soon as they reached that area and would only have eyes for him, unlike what would happen if he tried approaching them while they still were on a search frenzy.

With little more effort than usual, mostly due to his strength (that was roughly twice the strength a human child his age usually had), he climbed the tree until he reached the lowest of the big branches. He leaned the boy against the trunk and then proceeded to get the lantern stuck in a bunch of small branches above, positioned so that when turned on, its light fell right on one of the trees, like one big bright yellow circle.

They would certainly notice that. He turned it on.

It was still raining, and Kanda's hair was plastered to his face and back rather uncomfortably, but by now, he was more or less used to that. His body temperature was slightly higher than a human's, so he wasn't that cold.

It would certainly be another thing entirely once the snow came.

Shaking his head as if to make those thoughts go away, Kanda turned to the boy again. He was still sleeping, his cute face a little paler than before, it seemed. And he was trembling violently. Was that normal?

Crap. He should be freezing. Humans died and got sick easily, that much Kanda knew. Was this enough to kill the little bastard? Was he even going to last the half an hour that Kanda estimated it would take for the humans to reach this area?

_Damn, damn, damn, damn._

Only one way to make sure.

He reached for the boy's jacket and undid the buttons. Carefully, so as not to slip on the wet and somewhat slippery branch, the panther boy moved from where he was and sat next to the human. Slowly, both because he absolutely loathed what he was doing and because he didn't want the boy to wake up, he slid one warm arm around the white-haired boy's back and the other over his chest, pressing his own body against the other trembling one in an attempt to get it warmer. His long tail wrapped itself around the kid's waist. And so, together, even though only Kanda was aware of that fact, the two of them waited.

And meanwhile Kanda tried to ignore the deep blush on his face.

Not that the panther-boy thought the human child was cute. He didn't. Really. No way in Hell.

He was very warm, though. And soft.

The rain continued to fall.

* * *

**. _.._**

* * *

Soon he could hear the steps, the rustling, and other noises. When lights began appearing through the trees, Kanda extricated himself from the hug they'd ended up in, much to his displeasure (in his sleep, the boy had grabbed, wrapped his arms around and snuggled with the body that was offering him warmth. For a brief second, Kanda had thought it was cute. Then the arms around him didn't go away and it seriously began to bother him, but there was nothing he could do. It was warmer that way, anyway), and silently merged with the shadows and disappeared.

Ten minutes later, a victorious and relieved shout echoed through the forest when someone saw the lantern's light and followed it to the little boy sleeping on the tree.

Twenty or so humans came rushing, bringing lots of lanterns and first-aid kits, as well as blankets and thermoses with hot beverages, and under the watchful eyes shining from the darkness, the sleeping boy was taken from the tree and wrapped up in blankets, then delivered to a tall man with a kind face that looked so relieved he was near tears.

Soon they left, taking all the lights and the noise with them, happy to have retrieved one of their own.

Kanda watched them leave, dark unreadable eyes glued to the tall man's back.

Then he turned around and disappeared in the darkness.

 

" _Step by step, walk the thousand-mile road."_

 _Miyamoto Musashi_ _, legendary Japanese swordsman_

 

_End of chapter 2_

* * *

_Untamable_

* * *


	3. Spirit of the Animal

_"A diamond was laying in the street covered with dirt. Many fools passed by. Someone who knew diamonds picked it up."  
_ Kabir, Indian poet

* * *

Allen felt warm. Incredibly, wonderfully warm. So warm he felt like he could cry.

Warmth had never felt so good before.

No, wait, it had. A long time ago, he had felt like this - like he had never known what warmth really was until that moment. So warm, so comfortable, so safe…

There was a big hand stroking his head. It was warm too. It felt nice.

"We're almost there," a rough voice said lowly from somewhere, startling Allen and making him realize he had been slowly going back to sleep. He was more awake now, and he felt like he was inside a moving vehicle. He was wrapped in a cocoon of blankets. He opened his eyes a sliver with a bit of difficulty – it seemed like there was something on his face making his eyelashes stick together - and around him everything was dark, but occasional red and white lights illuminated the surroundings. Someone's face was above him – that meant his cocoon of blankets was in someone's lap, but the person's face was blurry.

"Mana…?" he whispered.

"Shhh, Allen, it's okay. Sleep a bit more," his father shushed him, leaning closer and tightening his grip around Allen and his warm blankets. Allen felt his eyelids fall shut obediently, and before he knew it, the deep blackness of slumber had surrounded him once more.

* * *

**. _.._**

* * *

The next thing he felt was warm water around his small body and a soft sponge tenderly washing his face. He blearily opened his eyes to the white foam and the bubbles floating on the water filling the bath tub.

"Oh, you're awake?" he heard Mana's soft voice say from somewhere to his right. Looking in that direction, he saw his father kneeling beside the bathtub, sponge in hand, with a tired but relieved look on his face. "I was more or less hoping you'd sleep through it and rest more."

Little Allen couldn't help but feel a little confused. What had happened? Why was he-?

"But nevertheless-" Mana's voice interrupted his thoughts, "-I was so worried about you, Allen!" And there was a tiny hint of the despair he'd felt during this long night in his voice and in his eyes, and it looked for a moment like Mana was going to hug him again, wet and all, but the man caught himself on time and just gripped the side of the bathtub tightly instead.

 _I was so scared,_ the man thought, and again there was the despair coming back a little, _Scared like I'd never been before._

Trying not to think about it, Mana brought his free hand to Allen's head and began softly caressing the wet white hair.

There was tenderness and worry and even a slight hint of fear still in Allen's father's dark eyes as he petted him over and over again, as if to ascertain that Allen was really there, alive and well. The child frowned a little as he tried to remember what had happened that could have caused this, beginning with his memories of that morning.

"What happened? I thought you were just going to look for the kitten near the playground. How did you end up so deep in the forest?" Disapproval was now clear in Mana's voice as he reached for the shampoo and the sponge he'd dropped at some point to resume his previous activity of giving Allen a bath.

 _Ah,_ Allen thought with a start as the day's memories came rushing back to him, _I remember now._ But after a certain point, his memory was blank. What _had_ happened?

"I… got lost," he finally started explaining, trying to ignore the foam he could feel cascading down his face next to the corner of his eye. "And it was really cold, and it rained. And I couldn't find a place to stop and-" in his growing agitation, the child began gesticulating wildly; he sat up on his knees and turned to Mana, left hand gripping the side of the bathtub, looking earnestly up at his father, "-to stop and rest because I couldn't find that big stone again, and I ate a sandwich, but then I couldn't eat anymore because it was raining so hard, and there was mud, and I was so _hungry_!" Poor Mana couldn't properly wash Allen's hair because of all the movement, and there was water all over the bathroom floor already, as well as on Mana's clothes. "Oh, and then it got dark, and I could barely see, and I kept tripping, and there were these really scary noises, and I ran and ran and…"

He hesitated there, and Mana paused in washing his hair to look down and peek at the child's expression. His eyes were dark and tender and understanding, and it was _Mana_ , so Allen finally decided to try to finish what he wanted to say.

"And I thought- I couldn't- _I was alone_. I was alone, Mana." _Again_ \- it's what he doesn't say. Mana felt a sudden urge to hug Allen until he couldn't breathe just so the child could really feel that everything was alright now, but he knew he couldn't. That wasn't what Allen needed right now. So the man just sighed and pinned the child's arms to his torso so they stayed still for at least a minute.

"Yes, yes, I see." He tried to sound playfully impatient, like usual, and looked directly into the grey-blue eyes. "Calm down, everything is fine now. You're here with me, and that is all gone. Okay, Allen?" He smiled warmly at the boy, and felt relief wash through him when Allen stopped frantically trying to explain himself and the memory of fear faded from his clear eyes. Then the white-haired boy calmly nodded. "Good. You can tell me all about it later when you've slept and rested." Mana sighed, releasing Allen's arms.

The boy hummed in response, looking down at the foam that kept him from seeing his own hands underwater. "I didn't find the kitten," he said. He felt disappointment and a little bit of sadness make his chest tighten as he acknowledged the failure.

"Don't worry about it. I'm sure it's fine, wherever it is now. Don't worry so much. You shouldn't have gotten yourself lost because of it," the man said as he finished washing Allen's hair.

"It was a very good idea to climb a tree and hang the lantern up to signal where you were, though," Mana added - almost as an afterthought - as he picked up the hand-held shower head.

It took a moment for the child to register the words, so he almost choked on the falling water when he opened his mouth to say, _What are you talking about? I didn't do anything like that._

"Hey, hey, Allen, whoa there."

In a tree? Lantern?

He hadn't done _anything_.

He'd fallen face first on the mud, yes; that he remembered clearly. But apparently he'd been found in a _tree_ …?

Then it hit him.

It could only mean one thing.

_Maybe I did find the 'kitten' after all._

* * *

**. _.._**

* * *

Universally known fact: Allen Walker was not one to give up. Mana Walker had made sure of that. Allen was stubborn, persistent and impetuous, and his foster father was ridiculously proud of the little pile of sheer will he had for a son.

Right now, though, his poor foster father would've enormously appreciated a little bit less impetuosity and determination.

"Allen… it's Saturday. What are you doing up so - wait, don't tell me you're going to look for that kitten again?! You're going to get lost! I can't allow you to-!"

"I'll be back before dinner! Love you, Mana!"

That shout, and a flash of white hair, and the front door sliding closed was all he saw of the boy.

… _Mana Walker, enjoy the feeling of your teachings coming to bite you in the ass._

* * *

**. _.._**

* * *

A week had passed since little Allen had gotten lost in the forest and eventually been rescued.

For a week, Allen had gone to the playground every afternoon after school and searched the nearby area. He'd been careful to stay near the playground at all times, and every day he'd gone a bit further and then gone back home as soon as the sun was about to set. Now he knew better than to just march into the forest blindly.

The white-haired boy intended to get to know the area better than anyone else so that he wouldn't get lost again and so that he would know when something changed, signaling that something – or _someone_ – else had been there.

Occasionally, he could've sworn he'd felt eyes boring into his back, watching his every move, or a slender dark shadow just beyond those bushes… but he hadn't found the cat-boy so far.

There was, of course, the small matter of whatever had caused those terrifying noises he remembered from that night. But Mana had said there were no dangerous animals in that forest… so Allen resolutely pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind and shifted the backpack to a more comfortable position.

So now here he was, a week later, ready for another whole day of search instead of the hour or two he'd gotten during the week. He'd be careful, of course, but he would stay the whole damn day. And come back the next day. And the day after that one. And however long it took, or his name wouldn't be Allen Walker.

With a determined glint in his silvery eyes, Allen stepped into the forest.

* * *

**. _.._**

* * *

Two weeks. Two whole weeks of searching, and still nothing. Not even a glimpse of dark cat ears or of a filthy white tunic. Nothing!

To say that Allen was getting frustrated would be an understatement. It was now the beginning of November, and two weeks had passed since Allen's "getting lost" incident.

And by now he was sure the Pet was avoiding him. He'd definitely seen his shadow once! But no more than that. And he was sure that the Pet sometimes followed him.

But no matter how long Allen stayed, or how much he shouted, or whatever food he left for the cat-boy, he refused to come meet Allen! It was infuriating. The white-haired boy knew that it was difficult to trust someone else when, in your world, kindness meant being hurt eventually, but the Pet had to be extremely dense not to see that Allen meant no harm and really wanted to help!

…and Allen was also terribly curious about the still rare and extremely expensive animal-people, but that was another point entirely.

* * *

**. _.._**

* * *

The Strange Kid was back.

Seriously, what the hell?

Apparently, the human really _was_ looking for Kanda. And he'd probably been looking for Kanda on that day when the little idiot had almost gotten himself killed as well.

Two days or so after that, Kanda had come back to the area as he was returning from stealing some food from some of the humans' houses when he'd sensed the foreign if slightly familiar presence.

He'd followed the scent, and exactly as he'd expected, there the kid had been, noisily and carelessly walking around the forest as if he was looking for something.

And that something turned out to be Kanda himself when he heard the little human shout, "Heeeeeeey! You there? Caaaaaaat guuuuy! Hellloooo?"

Kanda's eyebrow had twitched. 'Cat-guy'? _'Cat-guy'?_ The idiot was just begging to have his throat ripped off by Kanda's eager claws.

It was a tempting thought, but Kanda knew he couldn't kill him. Pity.

Judging by the scent, the white-haired freak was also carrying food again. Well, too bad for him - Kanda had already eaten. Since their first meeting, he'd found a few houses near the forest from which it was easy to steal food… and there were small animals nearby as well, so food was no longer an issue for the panther.

The next day, Kanda had come back just to see if the Strange Kid would come back. And there he was. The day after as well. And the one after that. No matter how cold the weather was getting, the human always came back every day.

Of course, Kanda couldn't always remain in that area – since he still feared that the Shop would come looking for him, he preferred to be constantly moving so as not to leave many traces of his presence in any particular place – but whenever he was there, he always caught the scent of the human, still fresh, and sometimes Kanda even followed the kid for a while, just out of boredom. The child shouted quite a bit at first, but eventually he'd given up on that. Every time he'd heard himself being referred to as 'cat guy' he'd felt an insane urge to kill the idiot. But it was too risky, not to mention the danger of someone connected to or from the Shop hearing about it.

Then one day, when he'd been amusedly watching the stupid human kid trip over a tree root and fall face first to the ground (watching the kid make a fool of himself had proven extremely entertaining for Kanda lately), the wind had suddenly brought the scent of more humans.

Nearby. Probably male. Strong scent – more than one or two.

Whatever it was, it couldn't be good. No one but the stupid moyashi over there would even think of going on a picnic during winter. Which meant _business._

Maybe he'd have to kill the kid after all.

* * *

**. _.._**

* * *

His face hurt. A lot.

"Ooooooow…" Allen whined, tears welling up in his eyes. He pushed himself up and carefully touched his forehead with a gloved finger. He frowned at the tiny blood stain he found on it after and shoved both hands in his pockets as he resumed walking while muttering angrily under his breath. "Stupid trees, nothing better to do than make people fall…"

Footsteps and the loud sound of people walking through the forest made him fall silent and turn to his right. More people around there….?

Soon voices could also be heard, clearly heading in Allen's direction, and for the sake of his curiosity, Allen remained where he was - though he began to wish he hadn't when the big plants next to one of the trees were violently shoved aside to reveal five tall, broad-shouldered men wearing some sort of uniform. Two of them were heatedly discussing something.

"I _told_ the boss this guy isn't like the others! The little fucker _would_ know how to look for food! We won't find him passed out somewhere - hell, he could've killed and eaten somebody already! That thing may be pretty, but it's a goddamn little monster and-"

"And what? You want us to chase him with the dogs? You know damn well we need the city's permission for that, and the boss has orders to not let anyone know about this!"

"But that animal is gonna-!"

"Oh ho, what do we have here?" a third man with a deep rough voice asked when Allen came into view, effectively shutting up the other two. "Hey kid, what'cha doing here?"

"Good afternoon," Allen said with a polite smile.

* * *

**. _.._**

* * *

Kanda was screwed. He just knew it.

The kid that had seen him plus the guys from the Shop that were looking for him were together in the same place - _talking_. In other words, a disaster waiting to happen.

He hadn't had time to get to the kid without being seen, and the stupid bean sprout had just stood there, waiting for the men! Just, just…fucking _perfect_!

Now it was just a matter of time.

He quickly ran through what options he had available. Take the kid and run – bad option. Kill the kid and run – worse option. Kill them all and run – maybe, but there was a low chance of success. The men probably had guns or some other way of "neutralizing" him under those bulky uniforms. Not to mention there were _five_ of them. And, much as he hated to admit it, he was still a kid. Last option – run like hell. Most reasonable option. Best option.

Yet for some reason – call it morbid curiosity – Kanda decided to create another option: stay and watch and run like hell afterwards. Well, maybe he could learn something useful by listening in, after all.

"Good afternoon," the brat said with a sickening this-is-just-out-of-politeness smile.

"Not really, the day's sucked so far." The same man with the rough voice laughed – it sounded more like a cough, though. "So what'cha doin' here?" he asked.

"Well, I was just…"

 _Don't say it, don't say it, don't say it,_ Kanda thought fervently, even though he knew it was hopeless. The stupid, naïve kid was going to tell them all they wanted to know just like that, Kanda had no doubt. Even if he said he was just looking for an animal, they would get suspicious and _force_ him to tell them.

"…walking around. No reason or destination. I had a really difficult exam at school today, you know? It was really, really difficult. So I'm having a bit of fun before I go home," the human child said with a blindingly innocent bright smile.

… _the hell?_

He hadn't told them. That goody two shoes had just very obviously and very blatantly lied, and he had a two-thousand-watt smile plastered on his face. Kanda could even see the sparkles. He was playing _innocent_?

"Eeeh..." One of the men scoffed.

"Walking around, huh? Alone?" another asked suspiciously.

"Fuck, whatever." The man that had first appeared waved the others off, then lowered himself to one knee so he could look at Allen on the same level. "Tell me, kid, have you seen… huh, any animals around here lately? Or… other… people? Like… strange-looking people?" The awkwardness of his effort to not say too much and to put it in a simple way was almost laughable.

With his big grey eyes very open, the kid looked like the picture of innocence itself as he shook his head negatively. "No, sir, I haven't seen anyone. And there are no animals either, even though I've looked a lot for them… I want a pet, you see… even a squirrel would do, but…"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever, kid. You really haven't seen anything?"

"Hmm, no, sir."

Another of the men impatiently walked towards them and grabbed Allen's shoulder to force the child to look at him. "Kid, forget what he said. Do you know a kid with really long black hair? And… a collar, yeah, a collar. He wears a collar as well. With a symbol like this on the back." And he pointed to the symbol on his uniform, on the left side of his chest. "You know him?"

Little Allen tilted his head to the side cutely, and Kanda almost expected to see him take a finger to his mouth in an exaggerated display of innocence. He didn't do it, fortunately, but he leaned forward to look more closely at the symbol before leaning back again to look up at the man. His silver eyes now seemed bigger than plates. "No, sir, I haven't seen him. Did he do something bad?"

Kanda could feel his eyebrow twitching. What the hell did the kid think he was doing? Acting like a poor innocent five-year-old to deceive the men? It was ridiculous.

Not only that - Kanda was finding out that worse than being an actual innocent, emotional type, the moyashi seemed to be able to be pretty manipulative as well - which was just as bad. In Kanda's opinion anyway. Kanda believed in being frank and straightforward, and lying was against his personal honour code. And here was the kid, doing his thing like a professional actor, and the idiots were actually falling for it, overdone as it was.

It was almost sickening to watch. And what, was the kid expecting Kanda to thank him for that or something? Because he had another thing coming. Whatever the kid thought he was going to accomplish by protecting Kanda - and that raised another question. How did he know Kanda didn't want others to know about him? How did he know he should lie to these particular men? Heck, _why_ had he bothered to lie at all? Just wanting to hear a "thank you" from Kanda didn't sound like enough.

From his hiding place, up in the tree just above the scene, the panther hybrid narrowed his dark eyes at the humans below and his black ears flattened against his skull.

Kanda was thinking of many things at the same time, but the main one was, _What is the meaning of this?_ The thought was almost heavy in Kanda's mind, because he couldn't think of a possible answer. It was just so frustrating. And also, _Why? What can you possibly get out of this?_

Kindness or a sincere wish to help never crossed Kanda's mind. In his world, everything was done for a reason. Zhu Mei, the scientist from a long time ago in a big white laboratory, had taught him so. So he watched, and thoughts whirled in his head, and he failed to find a plausible reason.

… _Why?_

* * *

**. _.._**

* * *

Meanwhile, down below and still completely unaware of the presence of the Pet, Allen was almost having fun. It had been a while since he'd gotten to show off his skills.

Mana would be so disappointed in him if he knew.

But these men were apparently searching for the catboy. So in this case, it was for a higher purpose. And he was just showing off a little, and it was all to himself anyway.

There's an honour code of sorts for kids like Allen. He remembered it well. It was more of a mix of honour code and survival guide, though, but it worked pretty well for them.

So Allen wouldn't sell the cat boy out, when it had been so evident he was hiding from someone. Or somewhere. Or both. Only… he couldn't know who or where.

So he'd keep all he knew from everyone. Besides, these guys had exactly the look of the kind of people Allen knew, from his times "before Mana", that he should avoid.

But he'd been curious - now he was paying for it by having to deal with them. But these were apparently also the type that got fooled easily. And at least it was almost fun.

So he leaned closer, pretending to examine the symbol over the man's left breast, and increased the level of "I'm-so-cute-and-innocent-and-harmless-you-can't-doubt-me" in his expression, tilting his head to the side in a "cutely curious" mannerism and said, "No, sir, I haven't seen him. Did he do something bad?" This way, he could even get some more information on the catboy. Hey, if Lady Luck is generous, you accept her offers. Mana always said that.

"Huh…" the man hesitated, not knowing how to answer.

The man who was still kneeling in front of Allen interrupted the other's hesitant mumbles and signaled for him to let go of the child's shoulder. "Well, he… ran away from his parents. So we're looking for him. But we're from very far away, so you don't need to ask anyone around here; no one knows him."

Of course.

Allen's innocent expression almost slipped there, and a question that a normal child wouldn't think of asking _did_ slip through his lips. "Why did he run away?"

All the men seemed to be caught by surprise by the question; even those who hadn't said a word yet exchanged startled looks. Now this was something they hadn't been expecting. Not that they'd been expecting to find anyone around here at all.

"He… hmm. Well, you see, kid, he… is… sulking. Yes, sulking. He… wanted a toy his mother wouldn't give him. So he ran away. He's a spoiled brat, he…" And here the man stopped and frowned at the white-haired boy in front of him. "Wait, ya don't need to know about this. It's none of your business. Just forget ya saw us, alright?"

Suuure that was the reason.

Sulking. Were they serious? That was the worse excuse _ever_.

And not only that, the guy seemed to have a gift for avoiding hard questions in a subtle way.

"Forget… I saw you? What do you mean?" he asked, like the very innocent boy he was not, and contorted his features into a carefully confused expression.

Really, someone give him an Oscar.

One of the men who had been arguing with another in the beginning stepped forward. "Just don't tell anyone about us, 'kay? Just that, kid. Everyone's probably going to hear about this soon, but we don't want them to know yet."

"Ah. Okay." Allen nodded meekly.

"Yeah, right. So. Just go home, kid. We're gonna keep looking, and we don't want you getting in the way."

"Okay…" Allen replied once more.

And since he figured they wouldn't tell him anything of worth about the cat boy, the white-haired child turned around and left.

But as he left, he could've sworn he saw a strange shadow with a long tail up there on a tree. A blink, and it was gone.

Allen stared thoughtfully into nothing, and then started walking again and went home.

* * *

**. _.._**

* * *

Kanda almost couldn't believe it.

The kid hadn't said anything. At all. He'd shamelessly lied, fooled them, and left.

Just like that. It wouldn't have hurt him to say that he'd seen a hybrid, and nothing would come out of protecting Kanda. So why?

 _Why_?

* * *

**. _.._**

* * *

Two weeks later, it was mid-November, and another Saturday.

Allen had kept visiting the forest every day, and searched for almost the whole day on Saturdays. Mana refused to let him go on Sundays as well, because Allen needed to "rest, play and do your homework like all the other kids!" and not waste all his time on some lost kitten.

The weather had gotten even colder. It was too cold to rain now, colder than usual for this time of the year. It had snowed the night before even, so outside everything was covered in pure, glittering white.

Eight in the morning, and Allen was already up and ready to leave. He was just waiting for Mana to pour the hot milk into the thermos he was going to take with him. The blankets were already in his backpack. What Mana didn't know was that this time Allen fully intended to leave them there if the cat-boy didn't appear to take them himself.

During the past two weeks, there hadn't been any remarkable changes. He'd found the men with the uniforms again, twice, but not talked to them. He didn't like them, but the fact that they were still there meant the cat-boy hadn't been found.

And also, even though he hadn't met the Pet again, he'd begun to be able to sense when he was nearby. Or so Allen liked to believe. Well, the feeling that he was being watched had to come from somewhere, right? And all those glimpses – that Allen was almost sure were done on purpose – of a dark tail or a pale hand couldn't be just his imagination.

"Say, Allen…" Mana's voice jerked him back to the present, and from the kitchen table he was sitting at, Allen looked at his foster father, who was near the stove. "Do you want a kitten?"

The grey-eyed boy blinked, caught off-guard by the question. "A kitten…?"

"Yes, a kitten," Mana repeated patiently.

Allen looked down at his gloved hands on his lap. "I…" for some reason, he found himself hesitating, "I wouldn't mind…"

Pouring the hot steaming milk into the thermos, Mana let out a dramatic sigh. "I can _so_ sense a 'but' coming."

Allen didn't look up, but smiled faintly before frowning a little as he tried to understand the feeling himself. "I… I don't think I should have a kitten."

"And why not?" Mana's forehead creased in a frown and he completely forgot about the hot milk he was handling… until he spilled quite a bit. The hot liquid quickly reached the edge of the table and dripped down on the man's defenseless naked foot, making him yelp.

The white-haired boy, bless the Heavens for him, had already grabbed a towel and was quickly cleaning it up as he answered. "Well, because… I'm already helping the other kitten. It wouldn't be fair."

Already having cleaned the milk that had fallen on his foot, Mana poured the rest of the milk into the thermos carefully, and then looked at his adopted son thoughtfully. "You could look after both. You don't have to forget about one for the sake of the other." And it was a reasonable suggestion.

"Probably."

 _But the answer remains the same,_ Mana thought. _You are a very complicated little person, my Allen._

Still, there was something Mana wanted to ask. Even if he thought he knew what kind of answer he would receive.

The man followed the white-haired child into the living room, where he proceeded to get the thermos in the backpack and check if he had everything.

Seeing him just about ready to leave and drop the topic, Mana finally asked it.

"Why are you so intent in looking for that little cat?" he blurted out, "You could just leave food for it. You don't need to concern yourself so much. You don't have to find it. It's a cat; it can look after itself. So why?"

Allen paused in the middle of tightening the straps that held the backpack closed. Then he firmly tightened them and shouldered it, before finally turning to face his foster father. Mana could see the glint of a steely determination in Allen's strange but pretty eyes.

"Because it's alone," he said very seriously - then, too late, plastered on a happy smile almost as an afterthought. "It has no one with him and no one to worry about him."

Those silvery eyes were beautiful and innocent, but Mana gazed into them and knew they'd seen more than any child's eyes ever should.

"So _I_ will," Allen says, and Mana nodded in understanding, because there was nothing else he could do.

* * *

**. _.._**

* * *

_Oh, wow. It really is cold outside_ , Allen thought when he finally arrived at the playground. His breath was a misty cloud in front of him, and his nose was most probably red.

Well. There was that sensation of being watched again. Good; the catboy was probably nearby.

So little Allen tilted his chin up and very resolutely walked towards the forest. Once he was behind the bushes, he wiped off the snow on top of the stone where he'd used to leave food for the Pet and very unceremoniously sat himself on it, arms and legs crossed.

* * *

**. _.._**

* * *

Kanda was cold. Very cold.

Extremely cold, actually.

And that ragged tunic of his might as well not have existed at all, for all the good it was doing him.

To distract himself from the low temperature, he'd decided to go follow the idiot human again and now there he was, all white and tiny and idiotic as ever. And sitting on the ground. The cold, hard ground covered in snow.

Watching from one of the trees near the playground, Kanda felt his eyebrows rise in slight surprise. What was the human child planning now?

After looking around with a very sullen expression, the kid took off the backpack and settled it on his lap. And then pulled out of it what looked like a thermos, and then three big, fluffy and, most importantly, very warm-looking, blankets.

Okay, so suddenly what the kid was planning was very clear.

* * *

**. _.._**

* * *

Half an hour. Half an hour had passed, and nothing.

The feeling of being watched didn't go away, though.

So maybe Allen would have to try another approach.

"I know you're there!" he suddenly shouted at nothing. "I have things for you!"

No response. Just the trees, the wind, and the endless white of the snow.

Looked like just that wasn't enough.

"I just want to help you. And talk to you."

Nothing but the wind answered him.

 _Don't know how he survived this long if he can't recognize_ _truth when he hears it,_ Allen thought, somewhat irritated. _Not to mention that this is very rude. Mana would scold me if I ever ignored someone like this._

An hour passed, it began snowing lightly, and Allen ended up hugging the thermos of hot milk in the hopes it would stay warmer that way.

It was just so frustrating. Why couldn't the Pet just go there and-?

Right. No trust.

At last, Allen let out a resigned sigh. "You're not going to come out with me here, are you?"

Again, the silence was the only response Allen got, but it sounded like the forest was saying something like 'no shit, Sherlock. Really?'

* * *

**. _.._**

* * *

The kid had been there for over an hour. With blankets. And something warm in that thermos.

For Kanda.

And it had begun to snow, even. The kid had just hugged the thermos to keep it warm, and kept on waiting.

For Kanda.

If it wasn't all an act to lure him closer, then… it was kind of… nice.

The little kid was shivering in the snow, all worried about the thermos for Kanda not getting cold. _If_ it wasn't an act, then it was almost… what was the word? …cute. Maybe. Just a little.

The kid was still a disgusting, stubborn, idiotic bean sprout, though.

Still, this didn't mean Kanda felt any more inclined to go near the human. There was no way in Hell he'd be caught near a human any time soon. Unlike the idiot, Kanda wasn't stupid.

* * *

**. _.._**

* * *

Letting out another sigh, little Allen wrapped the thermos in the blankets and got up.

"Hum, before I go…" the boy felt a little silly, talking to nothing like that, but he shrugged off that thought and continued, "I want to thank you. For saving me the other day. They might not have found me if you hadn't put me in that tree, I guess. So… thank you. And… you can keep the blankets. No need to return them or anything, even if you wanted to…" _Stop blabbering,_ Allen told himself. "So… yeah. That's it. I'm going now."

And turning around, he began to walk away. Slowly, at first, trying to sneakily look over his shoulder. But nothing changed. So with a resigned sigh, he just gave up and passed through the bush.

Then he glanced behind one last time.

A slender pale boy with long dark hair and triangular cat ears on his head appeared beyond the bush, disappeared momentarily as he bent down as if to pick up something, then appeared again.

With a nodding motion of their head, dark eyes unreadable at that distance, he disappeared completely from view.

Allen smiled happily, and the next day he left old clothes on the rock.

 

 _"Are you looking for me? I am in the next seat./My shoulder is against yours."  
_ Kabir, Indian poet

 

_End of Chapter 3_

* * *

_Untamable_

* * *


	4. Instinct of the Animal Part I

* * *

 

 _What saves a man is to take a step. Then another step. It is always the same step, but you have to take it_.

Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, _Wind, Sand and Stars_ , 1939

_**Chapter 4** _

_**Part I** _

* * *

Things have a way of turning into a habit.

You don't even want them to. You don't plan it – you can't plan it – you might even try to avoid it! – but still things find a way of worming their way into your life with such subtlety that before you know it you're used to them.

You start actually _looking_ _for_ them when you know they should be there. Because it's _normal_.

As insufferable and annoying as it is, the truth is that, by then, their absence _is_ an anomaly. It's certainly not because you _like_ them. They have just… officially become a habit.

So yeah. These things come into your life by soundlessly sitting next to it like they're not being sneaky and before you know it they've become part of it. Sort of like leeches, but not really. Parasites of sorts.

Kanda wonders how he ended up with this particular parasite, and can he please get a shot or something that can get him rid of it?

* * *

**. _.._**

* * *

Kanda was meditating.

Meditation had been an essential part of the day to him ever since it had been taught to him, not too long after he'd opened his eyes for the first time. It helped him clear his mind and control his emotions and his instincts. Meditation had always played a key role in his life, and even after escaping the Shop and hiding in the forest, that hadn't changed.

Now, sitting on the top branches of some evergreen tree covered with snow, hidden in the shadow of its foliage and completely surrounded by the rustling of leaves, Kanda's mind was empty. The cold weather did not reach him. Legs folded, hands on his knees in the right position, back straight and long black tail relaxed and only moving with the wind, the whole word was his breathing: inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale. Inhale-

"I know you're there!"

Kanda's tail twitched slightly. Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale-

"I'm serious! I can tell you're there!"

Kanda's eyebrow twitched angrily. Inhale, exhale, inhale-

"You're so rude! You don't have manners at all!"

The hybrid's furry black ears flattened against his skull. Empty mind, not thinking about anything… His ears relaxed. Inhale-

"Really! You haven't even _thanked_ me yet!"

 _Exhale,_ inhale, exha-

"And I bet you're even wearing those clothes I gave you! Ungrateful jerk!"

In Kanda's head, a thunderous angry growl overruled everything else, empty mind and steady breathing be damned to Hell.

Invisible to The Annoyance, a deep, ominous frown wrinkled a smooth (dirty) white forehead. It did not bode well.

Let's get one thing straight, here:

Kanda enjoys being alone. Kanda enjoys meditating. Kanda enjoys peace and quiet.

_And Kanda goddamn enjoys ripping out the throat of whoever annoys him._

. . .

…Kanda can't afford to rip out the throat of this particular annoyance.

Pity.

The kid, that white-haired punk that by some chance of fate had found Kanda, seemed to have developed an uncanny sense of Kanda's presence. It was like he always knew when the hybrid was nearby, watching him.

And so the human always knew he would be heard when he started shouting.

So _annoying._

Kanda had considered avoiding the area completely – even though the brat kept exploring it more and more (probably so he wouldn't get lost again in case he ever needed to go further) – but the Shop's men were still raiding the forest.

Even though the strange human child seemed to have begun avoiding them (which had surprised Kanda immensely. Did that mean the brat had a brain after all?) he could encounter them again any day despite his efforts.

And Kanda needed to be around in case that happened, to hear whatever was said. He'd sometimes followed the teams (it had been a huge risk, but whatever), but they usually stayed quiet and only spoke to each other when it was time to issue orders like, "you three, go left" or "we go back now", so whatever conversation one of the teams had with the Moyashi was the only thing that could prove useful to Kanda.

_Know your enemy._

Kanda's reluctance in leaving the area had nothing to do with the fact that the other day he'd caught himself thinking about this area as ' _his hunting grounds_ '. That was a mere coincidence.

So despite how annoying it was, Kanda kept coming and keeping an eye on the whiny brat.

Even if it felt more like letting the brat keep an eye on _Kanda_ and not the contrary.

Speaking of the brat - why was he so _fixated_ on talking to Kanda? Was it the same reason that had made him lie to the Shop's men?

Black tail whipping violently behind him with the confusion that disrupted momentarily his meditative state, Kanda wondered. What could a human child possibly want from him?

* * *

_..._

* * *

_What could a human child possibly want from me?_

That question hadn't left him alone since the encounter between the pretty human boy and the men had taken place. Throughout the long hours watching the kid shout himself hoarse for Kanda to come out, the hybrid had stared with suspicious flattened black ears and narrowed dark eyes at the kid, as if wishing for the staring to bring out the answer.

Which it hadn't, obviously. The whole thing had just made him more and more confused. The apparent kindness of each of the boy's deeds – not telling anyone what he'd seen, bringing Kanda food, and clothes, and blankets (which he had accepted on a moment's weakness that he still half-regretted) – had only added more confusion.

Kanda did not enjoy feeling confused. Back at the laboratories, feeling confused had meant pain. At the Shop, it had meant imprisonment – and not in his comfortable room.  
Now, in the wild, it could mean both. To hesitate for more than a moment was a Bad Thing. So confusion was not a feeling Kanda enjoyed.

But he hadn't formed a proper opinion on the brat yet. Or rather, he hadn't understood or thought of any motives the brat could possibly have. He already had a more or less defined opinion of the brat himself – weak, useless, whiny, and above all, stupid. Stubborn, Kanda would give him that. And he apparently liked to talk, too. Maybe to make up for the brains he clearly did not have.

"Rude, ungrateful, and _stupid_ jerk!"

Still, concerning said annoying bitch currently yelling at him, Kanda could _not_ let such insults go. He'd put up with it so far, trying to pretend he wasn't there, but it was time he accepted the fact that the brat knew when Kanda was there. And if he knew Kanda was there, what was the point of not reacting to pretend he _wasn't_?

The dark eyebrows assumed a determined frown, and the big black triangular ears of the hybrid went from their previous irritated flattened state to attentive in its perkiness.

It was time to finally let some of his temper run free.

Kanda couldn't jump out of the tree and walk up to the child roaring, though. He hadn't really talked to the human yet besides that first time, but he just _knew_ the moyashi would say something stupid and Kanda would end up ripping his throat out anyway which enjoyable as it sounded would entail Bad Things for Kanda and that couldn't be.

So after a few more moments of contemplative silence – on the hybrid's part, anyway; the human boy down there was still shouting how much of a coward he thought the panther-boy was - Kanda exhaled slowly, forced each and every hair of his black tail down, and reached out with his right hand towards one of the small branches just above his head to grab a small pine cone from the tree, a small and roundish thing no wider than half his little finger.

Kanda pulled on it until its tiny stem connecting it to the branch snapped and he lowered his arm.

* * *

**. _.._**

* * *

After looking at the small hard fruit for a few seconds, a slow smirk spread itself across Kanda's dirt-smeared face and, black tail swishing happily from side to side below him, the Japanese Pet raised his arm again and _aimed_.

A little to the left, a little more downwards, pointed right at that white-haired head, a slight adjustment of arm position, throw it and-

Three, two, one-

"OW- BASTARD!"

Aaah, the magnificent sound of successful payback.

* * *

**. _.._**

* * *

Sitting on a tree root clear of snow, little Allen rubbed the sore spot on his head where that stone had hit him. The jerk…! "Owww…" he said with a pout, and rubbed harder, as if trying to make the pain go away faster. He had even cursed! Out loud! Mana would be so disappointed if he knew.

He turned to glare bloody-murder at the trees, in the general direction where he thought the thing had come from.

Still, that had been something. The Pet hadn't ever showed himself to Allen again since that day, much less _said_ anything or showed clear signs of his presence to the human child, so this- this was…

The tight grip that anxiety had kept around Allen's chest these days loosened a little, and breathing was easy again.

The cat-boy hadn't talked to him or showed himself, but now he had shown a sign of his presence at least, and it made warmth and relief wash over Allen. He let out a shuddering breath. _It's alright,_ the thought echoed comfortingly in his head, _he'll be alright. I can do this._ He'd pull Kanda out of his own dark empty street.

But relieving as all that was, it did nothing to lessen the pain on the back of his head. He was going to have a _dent_ there, damnit.

And just like that the small detail of what he'd just said – yelled, really- came back to him and Allen flinched mentally at Mana's disapproval. He shouldn't curse, he can't curse, Mana says it's unmannerly and disrespectful (not that Allen has any respect left for the ba- for the hybrid), so Allen glared at the trees around him and puffed out his flushed cheeks in righteous rage.

"You're still a bas…! An ungrateful jerk!" he shouts with a tone of outraged finality, shaking his finger accusatorily at nowhere in particular.

* * *

**. _.._**

* * *

Later, Kanda wonders what the _hell_ made him throw that thing at the brat.

Because from that point on, he got more annoying than ever. Goddamnit.

* * *

**. _.._**

* * *

The next day:

"…know you're there! I swear I knoooow! Come _ooon_! Do I have to go get you catnip or someth-" This time, it hit his nose. _Hard_.

Pain flared heatedly from the bridge of his nose, making Allen's whole head hurt and he wanted to screech in agony, and stuck in between the urge to curse and the teachings of _not_ to curse, the words were out before he could stop them.

"M-MEANIE!" he blurted out through the fingers holding his abused nose.

. . .

Embarrassment flushed his pale white cheeks red and he wished he could hide his face in a hole and never look outside again. Meanie? Seriously? _Meanie?_

No sounds but the wind and the rustling of leaves came from the forest, but Allen could hear the snicker. He could _hear_ it!

* * *

And the day after:

"You know," Allen said with a derisive sniff as he turned a page of his new horror book and pulled the blanket wrapped around him closer, ignoring the little bit of snow that rolled off it, "I bet you're just embarrassed you have long hair, just like a gi-OW! DAMN YOU!"

* * *

And the day after that:

"…I'm not leaving! I'll come back every day! I said I would, and I will. So _talk_ to me! Are you afraid or something, kitty-boy?"

Light-speeding pine cone to the head.

. . .

"I _hate_ you. So much."

* * *

**. _.._**

* * *

This went on for quite some time.

Before he noticed it, Kanda found himself accepting their meetings. Yes, meetings, not just Kanda silently stalking the human child when he felt bored. The two of them always went back to the same place, waited for the other, and until it was time for the human child to go back, there they stayed. Meanwhile, the kid would try to get some kind of reaction out of Kanda and Kanda would studiously ignore him to the best of his abilities.

Then Kanda would eventually get annoyed enough that he'd retaliate in some silent way – that usually involved many yelps of pain and half-choked curses from the other party.

The kid didn't even bother with shouting and looking for the hybrid anymore, he just came to the usual place, sat down against a tree with a blanket that he now seemed to always carry around in his backpack, and he indulged in his new favourite pastime.

Said pastime was annoying the hell out of Kanda with whatever he said, in particular, and his existence, in general, and see how long it took for Kanda to throw something at him with deadly aim to shut him up. Or to try to shut him up, at least.

Because he never shut up, the moron just kept babbling endlessly. Kanda had to use every bit of self-restraint not to start arguing with him.

Kanda didn't want to actually say anything. Or shout, or growl, or anything of the sort. Actually addressing the other child would be arguing with him. Arguing would demand closeness. Arguing could make Kanda approach the human in fury. And Kanda was still too suspicious to feel safe getting closer to the human. Traps, darts, poison, subterfuges in general – all these things crossed his mind whenever he thought about it, as well as the now familiar question plaguing his mind, _why? Why?_

So instead, Kanda aimed for more painful places and his shots got progressively more vicious.

* * *

**. _.._**

* * *

Another thing that Kanda took note of was how the kid's reactions got more hilarious as time went by. Apparently, he thought that Kanda's replies in the form of painful shots of little stones or small pines aimed at his body were insulting or something. Kanda thought he was just being a sissy.

At night, when going back (sometimes carrying some of the food the brat had brought) to wherever he'd decided to sleep that night, Kanda snorted to himself with amusement while remembering the brat's earlier shocked or pained expressions and his following fits of insulted rage.

At one point Kanda started almost disregarding most of the insults directed towards him and just threw things at the brat on principle for the entertainment; Kanda would have made a sport out of it too if not for the following insult or bout of endless chatter that truly pissed the hybrid off.

The little fucker irritated him beyond reason. He clearly wanted – and could – curse rather colorfully at times but he _didn't_. He was insufferable while being so fucking _polite_ it got on Kanda's nerves, and then he went all sarcastic and shit and Kanda really felt like going up to him and beating a good lesson into that thick pale skull so he'd learn respect.

Kanda hated little bastards like him. No matter what was wrong, no matter their problems or their feelings, they kept _smiling. Freakin' smiling._

Even when the human child got angry beyond words at Kanda for some reason or other, he still _smiled._ The hell! Why smile? Why be all easy going, fuck? Kanda couldn't stand that type of people. And he knew the eerie white kid was exactly that type.

And if the little bastard was also the type to believe that Kanda needed "to be saved" and that the kid himself was "the only one who could do it"…

-It was not like it was the first time Kanda met someone like that-

…the moment the moyashi bastard began lecturing him on friendship or seeing the light or some shit Kanda would send caution and whatever else to Hell and kick some human ass into oblivion.

* * *

**. _.._**

* * *

…yet Kanda came back every day.

And the brat always got there shortly after.

* * *

**. _.._**

* * *

When he'd accepted the blankets from The Annoying Brat, Kanda had started looking for a place more suitable to settle in than his usual spots high up on a tree's branches or under a big rock. He had conceded to accepting help from a stranger, might as well make the most of it. And blankets would do no good if he was soaked to the bone or buried to his nose in snow.

And he'd found a place: a hollow space under the roots of an old tree, that he'd discovered when a skinny hare (the first he saw in _weeks!_ WEEKS! He had been STARVING) he'd been following had suddenly disappeared when the tree root on which it had been standing had given way.

Kanda had blinked, surprised, at the sudden disappearance. What the hell had happened? A few seconds later he had gotten out of the bush where he'd been hiding, long tail curling and swishing curiously behind and above him as he approached the place carefully on all fours. This could be a number of things – all of which he'd seen on TV back in the Shop at some point, in movies, National Geographic documentaries and TV series – like a trap dug on the ground, the lair of some animal, a cave…

Sniffing the air cautiously, furry black ears perked up and attentive to any sound, he'd approached the base of the tree, soundlessly stepping closer, his naked feet and his hands apparently knowing where to land so he wouldn't make noise. But apart from the lingering scent of the hare he'd been pursuing, there was nothing. It didn't feel dangerous. If it was a lair, it had been abandoned a long time ago.

Knowing there was no big angry animal to fear, in a flash Kanda had been standing right where the hare had disappeared.

Hmmm. Between the two tree roots in front of him and behind a big rock stuck in between those roots, there was a dark hole in the layer of snow. So maybe…?

Experimentally, Kanda reached down and pressed a hand, covered in what was left of a big dark green glove (the gloves the human brat had given him hadn't lasted long under Kanda's care, since the hybrid tended to forget he was wearing them once he saw a potential meal running in the snow covered forest…) to the snow next to the hole. With a little more pressure, it had given way and disappeared inside the hole, leaving a wider opening.

It was still too small for even his head, though. With a little effort, Kanda pushed aside the rock and started getting rid of the snow and the layer of fallen branches, little sticks and dead leaves under it that had supported the snow.

Gradually, the opening was cleared till it reached its original state, and Kanda could now see inside. The opening was big enough that he could slip inside the hole easily.

He was now catching more clearly the scent of the frightened hare hidden inside, huddled trembling somewhere in the dark trying to pretend it didn't exist. Kanda sniffed in amusement, but decided to ignore it for the moment so he could inspect this discovery.

Positioning himself so he wasn't blocking the sunlight, Kanda peered inside the hole he'd just uncovered, forgetting about his prospective meal for a moment.

Oh, interesting. It actually looked big enough for Kanda- ah! There was the hare. It was too terrified of the predator in front of it to even try leaping through the opening to get away, it seemed. But better safe than sorry. Fast as a snake, Kanda's hand shot out and he curled his ragged-glove-clad fingers around the animal's neck with a snap, claws extended so they cut through flesh and arteries with the movement.

The hare had died in a matter of seconds, but the panther hybrid had barely been paying attention to the dying animal in his hold, too focused on inspecting the inside of the hole and gauging its size. Yes, it looked more than big enough, and apparently not connected to small underground tunnels (which could house other small animals that would be a pain to get rid of… though they could be tasty. Hmmm. That was an interesting thought. The air currents would make the place cold, though.).

Absentmindedly shifting his hold on the dead hare to a more comfortable position, Kanda had then lowered himself to the dusty hole.

It wasn't humid or moldy for some reason, and it pleased the panther-hybrid greatly. Had it been possible, he would have kept sleeping on the trees or under rocks on the surface, but it was too exposed to the elements. He'd endured it long enough to know he wouldn't survive the entire winter in such conditions, so a cave or a hole in the ground like this would have to do. The fact that the place didn't even seem that unpleasant to be in was a great plus.

 _Aw, fuck, the damn hare is dripping blood everywhere_ , he suddenly noticed with a scowl. He threw the hare out the opening and, licking the warm blood off of his dripping hand, started imagining what it would be like to use that place as a… lair of sorts, while looking around.

Big enough for Kanda to lie down without having to curl in himself and to sit up without having to bow his head. Good. And with the blankets… this would be pretty comfortable.

Big enough, while still being small enough to get warm after a while solely due to Kanda's own body heat. It had just one problem: the entry was directly above. The rain and the snow would fall almost directly on Kanda if he was inside.

He'd have to find something to use as a door. Or make one with intertwined branches or something, like he'd seen in that one TV show once…

Well, he'd have to think about it.

With a resigned sigh, Kanda had gotten out of the hole and used a big rock to at least hide the entry from direct view before picking up the dead hare and leaving towards the place where he'd left his blankets. He'd peacefully choose a tree to eat his meal after he was done with this.

* * *

**. _.._**

* * *

(A few days later)

Anyway, sometime after he'd discovered how truly satisfying it was to hear the moyashi hiss in pain whenever he annoyed Kanda too much- wait, no, not when he annoyed Kanda _too much,_ when he annoyed Kanda period – sometime after he discovered that, the weather got considerably worse. Especially at night, the cold and the wind got worse _._ The snow fell more heavily than ever.

Safely curled up in his "cave", warm in there due to his own body heat and the fluffy blankets and clothes, Kanda wouldn't have been that affected if the weight of the snow on top of his improvised door hadn't suddenly broken it and snow had started to fall furiously – even if it seemed more like the snow was being forcefully shoved - inside the cave.

The cold and fluffy substance quickly got packed inside the small space, and Kanda found himself fighting not to be buried under it. The damn wind seemed to be aiming straight at the tree above, so strong Kanda could hear the tree above him creaking, and he knew even his claws would not help him if the huge tree fell on him. It would kill him immediately.

And he knew wouldn't live to see the dawn of the next day if he tried to survive out there in the cold without a shelter of some sort. Even the small cave he was in, even with the threat of being buried under the snow, was better than outside, surrounded by white, unable to see a thing, slowly freezing to death.

He had no choice but to remain where he was and do whatever he could to keep the snow out and himself warm in doing so.

And so the hybrid set to work, using both hands to throw out the snow, trying to ignore the cold and the wind and his long hair getting in his face. It was a laborious process, and not exactly a rewarding one – more snow was constantly falling to replace what little he'd been able to get rid of.

In his struggle with the elements, time seemed to stretch on impossibly.

When he wasn't actively pushing snow out, Kanda allowed himself a few moments to curl up and rest a little, clutching the half-damp blankets to his thin, shivering body, but he knew he couldn't let himself fall asleep or he might never wake up.

* * *

**. _.._**

* * *

Meanwhile, in a house back in the city, Allen looked out the window of his room thoughtfully, big grey eyes focused on the wind tossing snow around outside.

Through the door came Mana's voice, quick and grave as Allen's father paced back and forth in the living room while he talked to a client on the phone. It sounded important. Maybe it was important. It didn't matter.

It didn't really matter.

The white-haired boy looked at the snowstorm raging outside, strange clear silver eyes unreadable.

* * *

**. _.._**

* * *

It had lasted three days.

Three- god-fucking-dammit- _THREE_ _DAYS_.

_Three fucking days of intense cold and no sleep._

To say that Kanda was pissed off was an understatement. He was very literally a dripping wet and cold cat, nose red and running, furry black ears hanging down in distaste and black tail rigid in pure anger and exhaustion. He felt like biting off the head of whatever crossed his path just for the stress relief it would give him.

Not that he would. To Kanda, taking a life was only something to do for a good enough reason.

(Though he kind of tended to overlook that little self-rule when it came to humans… not that he had killed one yet. The intention had been there, though. And taking a limb or two was perfectly fine in his book.)

So considering that he couldn't just exterminate the first creature to cross his path in a bloody and enjoyable way, Kanda wished there was a weather god or something just so he could rip its head off to show him his appreciation for the _three fucking days of hell_.

Lady Fortune could be blamed too, and judging by her name she conveniently already had a perceivable form (with a convenient head to be ripped off), but Kanda didn't hit females.

* * *

**. _.._**

* * *

He was just… _so..._ tiiiiiiiiiiired.

He needed to rest, but right now being a minute longer trapped in that tree would have been torture, and he was starving anyway. So he'd gathered his blankets – which were wet and really cold – and made a bundle with them, wrapping the bundle in another blanket that he'd then tied around his torso, and left.

He was running – more or less clumsily (he was just so _tired_ ) – to keep himself warm and functioning, and was more or less aware of where he was heading – not that he knew where that was. He hadn't made a decision exactly, but his feet were carrying him through the cold snow, his hands were frantically helping him get over whatever obstacles appeared in his way, his hunger urged him to keep going, and that was all that mattered.

The need for food kept him awake and functioning and had sharpened his senses… or maybe that last part was just him being so tired he was imagining things. But at-

-he interrupted his train of thought when a certain scent filled his nostrils and he looked down from his high perch on the leafless tree (when had he climbed to a tree? Why hadn't he noticed when the ground had suddenly been so far away…? No matter. He was just so _tired_ …) and his dark eyes zeroed on the small shadow on the white expanse of snow under him.

This scent… food.

… _there._

He fell on the careless rabbit like a vengeance from the heavens and tore it apart savagely, blood squishing everywhere and staining the virgin white snow and the trees around him. In his ravenous hunger the hybrid barely took notice of the unappealing scent of the wet and dirty fur that only lasted the few seconds it took Kanda to expose the meager rabbit's insides with a clean slash of his claws. Sinew, flesh and bone offered no resistance, parting like butter being cut by a knife, and the metallic scent of blood made Kanda almost drool in anticipation. Almost.

His head was descending, jaws open, before he even thought about it.

After killing, Kanda usually preferred to go eat his hard-earned meal up in a tree, where no one and nothing would bother him, but right now he was just hunger and thoughts of food, and his instinct to climb a tree and only eat there didn't even make its appearance in Kanda's mind.

The meat and innards were deliciously warm, the blood warmer even, and after three days of nothing, the raw metallic taste was heavenly. Rivulets of blood slid down his jaw and neck; his hands were almost immediately black with dark blood, and sticky. He bit down again and gulped everything down hungrily.

Kanda bit and tore at the poor dead animal in a frenzy, too hungry and tired to have any semblance of control.

Not that Kanda usually had to _control_ himself from killing and devouring all his prey like he was doing to that one now – much on the contrary, Kanda was actually not inclined to react in that way. He was by nature a very methodic and disciplined creature of naturally calm and somewhat rational ways. Only when provoked would he react explosively. And he had a short fuse in regard to some things, or to most things in general if he felt threatened or uncomfortable. But three days without sleep or food and fighting against the cold were more than a slight provocation.

It was no surprise to Kanda when, when he finally came back to his (tired, _tired_ ) senses, he was sitting on his haunches on the naked branch of some tree, carefully licking his claws. He blinked, finally back to himself.

A brief second of sudden awareness, of realization of what had happened, and Kanda resumed licking his claws one by one before retracting them to their protective sheath under his human nails. So he had kind of lost it for moment, so what? It was nothing important. He was so goddamn _tired_.

The hybrid took out his claws once again to look them over one final time. That done, he inspected himself quickly.

His warm clothes (that had been big on him, but he'd cut the parts that were too long and tied the rest with knots as he could so they fit snugly to his thin body), given by the kid, were stained red – all of the front, the knees of his pants, and on the forearms up to the elbows. It was a little bothersome, but he couldn't do anything about it now. It was not like he bothered with what he smelled like anymore, and it would hopefully dry (or freeze?) soon. Since he had other two shirts under the outer one, its dampness would not bother him.

The blankets were still on his back, fortunately. He'd lost his warm socks sometime during the snowstorm so that was old news that didn't even deserve much attention – his white and almost blue feet, covered in bleeding scratches and aching like something fierce, vehemently protested against such a dispassionate assessment – and his midnight-coloured hair, too long, too dirty, and with lots of knots was a tangled mess falling over his shoulders. Damn, he'd lost the hair-tie.

With an impatient growl, he gathered it all in a bun, twisted it, and snapping a little stick from the branch he was sitting on, pinned his hair in place as well as he could manage.

Aside that, his insides were now a little warmer and his limbs didn't feel as impossible to move as before, even if they somehow felt heavier. His tiredness, though, seemed to have increased three-fold. His sore muscles screamed in agony and his eyelids, now _those_ were heavy. Even his head and ears were starting to feel heavy. He leaned forward a bit-

_Wait, no… I can't sleep here…_

Shaking himself awake, Kanda got up and jumped to the next tree.

* * *

**. _.._**

* * *

Kanda would have been lying if he said he was surprised when he found himself on the place where he usually met up with the bean sprout.

He really hadn't been thinking about it, but it was more or less obvious this would be the best option. The human should come. He always came. And so far the kid hadn't done anything that had proved to be harmful to Kanda. Having him around would mean the panther would (probably) get a warning in case anything – or anyone – approached, or if it started snowing and Kanda didn't wake up.

The kid would definitely warn Kanda.

Right?

And again, the hybrid would have been lying if he said he hadn't felt relief when he'd gotten to his usual tree and, looking down, the human kid had been there, wrapped up in a bunch of blankets while calmly writing something on a book, his tiny hands covered in thick dark blue gloves, fluffy white hair falling over the focused silver eyes.

* * *

**. _.._**

* * *

Kanda jumped from branch to branch, somewhat noisily and sending snow everywhere, his usual gracefulness nowhere to be seen, until he got to the tree against which the kid was sitting – a pinetree of some sort, covered in dark green leaves even during winter.

The pretty human boy didn't look up from what he was doing.

Without so much as a sigh of relief, Kanda settled on a big branch quite far from the ground after throwing down the snow covering it. He let his limbs hang down on the air and there he stayed, panting.

He calmed down slowly, until finally the pants for breath stopped, and Kanda laid on the hard branch breathing softly. His muscles ached, his scratches burned, and his throat was beginning to feel a little strange. But at least he was resting, and his stomach was satisfied. He exhaled softly.

Amazingly, the kid hadn't said a word so far.

So it seemed the brat was capable of being quiet, after all. Kanda would have felt surprised had he had any energy left to summon up the feeling. As it was, he just stared at the snow covered trees to the right, waiting for his aches to fade a bit so he could sleep.

"Today…"

Oh, the brat had found his tongue, after all. Kanda should have known he wouldn't take too long finding it, wherever he'd left it.

"…I have studying to do, so _please_ do not throw things at me, or insult me. I won't bother you either, so. If you don't mind." Damn stuck-up kid with his mannerly ways.

Kanda's tail twitched, the only sign of slight annoyance the hybrid could display at the moment. Well, apparently the kid's annoying ways could still get through to him despite the extreme exhaustion. The panther was not surprised.

But still, studying? Kanda had heard of that. He was pretty sure it had something to do with how people learned things like reading and writing. It was often related to that "school" thing some TV series and movies showed occasionally. Some even focused a lot on it. He hadn't really liked those. He always changed channels.

Kanda tried gathering some leftover energy to feel curious. He wanted to take a look at what the kid was doing, and he couldn't see if he had his head lying on the branch, looking to the right like that.

With an infinitely small (but oh so difficult in his current condition) effort, Kanda dragged his head and shoulders a few centimeters to the right. A little more. And a little more, until his head was looking down, with his left cheek touching the side of the branch.

Damn leaves and lower branches. He couldn't see anything.

The panther-hybrid tiredly reflected for a few moments. He'd probably be able to see the human if he got to one of the lower branches. But he didn't want to move. He _really_ didn't want to move. He absolutely, entirely and most definitely refused to move.

A few minutes later, Kanda moved.

God _damn_ you, curiosity.

* * *

**. _.._**

* * *

Kanda dragged himself down the tree until he stopped on a lower branch from where he could watch the kid. The branch was quite far from the ground and the kid still, so Kanda didn't feel too uncomfortable, and the tree had so many leaves that only someone looking up from directly under the tree would be able to see him, so the Pet didn't feel too exposed. The kid already knew he was there anyway, so yeah, so what if he saw Kanda?

He took a moment to reach for the knot and untie and unwrap the bundle of blankets on his back, since the knot on his stomach had been digging painfully into his flesh when he'd been lying down on the branch. Not that it had bothered him that much.

Since the outer blanket wasn't that wet, he covered himself with it before tucking the bundle with the rest of them against the tree trunk. Then Kanda lay down again, stomach down, positioned so that he could look down at the base of the tree, where the bundle that was the human kid wearing his big jacket and wrapped in all those blankets was sitting.

And just like Kanda had seen on TV, the white-haired boy was writing neat lines of letters on his notebook, from time to time pausing to read something from a book covered in letters and one or two pictures that he had under the notebook he was writing on.

Kanda found it somewhat interesting, actually.

Dark blue eyes followed the swift movements of the pencil travelling across the paper, leaving lines of small little symbols behind. The soft scratching of the tip of the pencil against the paper reached Kanda's sensitive ears in the silence of the snow-covered forest, and the nearly rhythmic sound was soothing.

Occasionally the scratching stopped, and there was a slight rustling as the human boy moved his notebook to look at the book under it or the sound of pages being turned when there was no more room for letters on a page. They disturbed the rhythmic scratching, but Kanda was too busy watching the whole process despite his heavy eyelids to mind.

Lines of letters flowed smoothly from the tip of the white-haired boy's pencil, covering the page, overflowing to the next page, dripping down the notebook to the snow covering the ground and staining it in graphite's dark grey…

Kanda was slowly lulled to sleep and found himself dreaming of rivers of flowing dark letters without noticing it.

* * *

**. _.._**

* * *

Aw, look at that. Kitty-girly boy was sleeping.

The Pet was almost in clear view, and he was sleeping. Allen hadn't seen him so clearly since the first time they'd met.

Standing a few feet away from where he'd been sitting, Allen looked over the other kid slowly, paying attention to every little detail he could see from this position. The branch the Pet was lying on obstructed most of the human's view – he could only see a hand, a bit of the right side of the Pet, from below, and part of his face – but it would have to be enough, since Allen didn't want to scare the other by approaching him suddenly.

The child was pretty sure the cat-boy hadn't been looking this bad back then, though.

The Pet looked reaaaaally tired. And his face was all dirty and- wait, was that _blood_? And there was blood on his hand too! And-

Oh, wait. Blood around his mouth and on his hand means- ah, right.

The Pet had probably killed and eaten some animal. Huh. Raw? Probably.

Raw.

 _Ewwwwwwww…,_ little Allen shuddered in disgust. _Gross, gross, gross, gross!_

The Pet hadn't even taken off his glove, it was all red! Or what was left of it, anyway. The fingers of the glove were gone, and part of the rest as well, so it was more like a band of thread wrapped around the Pet's palm. The other glove probably was in no better state. _Humpf. Ungrateful jerk, should at least be careful with his presents…_ , the human boy thought angrily.

At least the pants and the shirts and the blankets seemed fine, if a little dirty… Mana would freak if he knew. Heh, hopefully he wouldn't notice four of their many, many blankets missing… and he'd never wanted to wear those clothes apparently, since he always complained about how old Froi never knew how to pick decent-looking presents…

Ah well.

Still, it was quite surprising. The Pet had been hiding himself so stubbornly from Allen until now, and all of a sudden here he was. And sleeping to boot.

Ah, right... He had come sleep near Allen, hadn't he?

The place where you slept – and next to whom – could determine whether you woke up safely the next day or without any clothes and with a knife kissing your throat – if you woke up at all…

So this- this meant- the cat-boy had to trust him at least a little, right? He needed Allen at least a little, right, right?

So despite the Pet being a rude, irritating, annoying bast- jerk, Allen's chest felt warm and a smile tugged at the corner of his pink lips.

No, despite all his flaws, Allen wouldn't leave the jerk alone. And not just because he'd said he would. Because he wanted to.

Then Allen remembered with a wince how much being thrown things at had hurt (his arms and body were covered in bruises!) and he decided a little revenge was in order.

He'd let the bast- the jerk sleep for a few hours, until it was time for Allen to leave. But then- oooohohoho, _then_ he would see…

* * *

**. _.._**

* * *

Kanda was sleeping. The sea of blackness, blessedly free of nightmares or past memories, extremely soothing-

"GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!" he jolted awake at the sudden flare of pain on his head and almost fell off the branch, which he did not because he threw his arms out, trying to hang on to something, and his claws caught the tree's trunk and halted his fall. He fought to get a better hold as his feet slipped and got even more scratched and it _hurt_ and- "FUCK- shit, fuck, fucker fuckity fuck, shiiit-" Hissing and spitting curses, he clumsily climbed back to his previous spot and, head still spinning and throbbing painfully, turned around just in time to see a snickering moyashi's back disappear through the trees as he ran away.

After having thrown a little stone at sleeping Kanda's head with deadly precision.

"YOU FUCKING BASTARD!"

"HOPE YOU ENJOYED YOUR BEAUTY SLEEP, KITTY BOY!" was the cheeky response the thrice-damned bean sprout shouted over his shoulder.

Kanda was going to _kill_ him and feast on his insides.

* * *

**. _.._**

* * *

The next day, Allen was welcomed with a loving shower of small stones and pine cones that left him practically black and blue all over.

The silver-eyed boy yelled quite loudly after that. A smirking Kanda sat on a low branch and calmly informed him that he should learn to duck more quickly.

When Allen went home, he went directly to his room to sulk.

* * *

**. _.._**

* * *

It was… yellow.

It was small, furry, and… _very_ yellow.

And for some unfathomable reason, it was emitting a murderous aura that darkened the atmosphere of the room from the place on Allen's bed where it had taken residence.

Little Allen blinked at the furry yellow ball. Twice.

"Mana!" he called at last, still staring flabbergasted at the thing, "Why is there afeather dusterin my room and why do I feel like my bed has been kidnapped?"

At the shout, a smaller yellow ball appeared from behind the bigger one, two triangular ears popped up on top of it, and it rotated slightly to the right to reveal two huge slanted golden eyes glaring fiercely at Allen that completely freaked him out. He almost fell on his back as he scrambled away. "WHOA! It's alive?" the child yelped, his own silver eyes open wide in surprise.

"…ers stomping all over the floor, coming home at this hour…" Mana appeared on the doorway then, grumbling. "And what do you mean, kidna- oh." Mana's face lit up in understanding, "Oh, right. I see you two have met already."

"Aaah?" Allen whipped his head to the left to stare dazedly at the man.

His father smiled excitedly, practically bouncing into the room and towards the bed to pick up the yellow thing by its middle and turn it around so it faced Allen.

"This," Mana said happily, his smile so wide there were wrinkles in the corner of his eyes, "is Timcanpy! I'm sure he's very happy to meet you." The kitten hissed, hanging by the scruff of its neck from Mana's fingers, long, loooong yellow tail swishing irritably in the air. It did not look pleased to meet Allen.

Surprised silver eyes met fiercely glaring golden ones, and the kitten opened his mouth to hiss threateningly, displaying an impressive set of white, sharp, and incredibly huge (too huge!) teeth that made Allen's eyes widen. _Holy sh-!_

"Are those his _teeth_?" the child asked incredulously. _Those razors? He looks like a chain saw with two little yellow felt balls attached. And a tail._

"Yes!" Mana confirmed, ridiculously happy, "He looks just like a little furry piranha, doesn't he? Doesn't he? And all yellow? I mean, look at him! _Yellow!_ And those teeth~!" Mana brought the disgruntled kitten up to his face and excitedly rubbed his cheek against the furry little head. "It's just so terribly _adorable_!" he squealed.

Allen's jaw hit the floor.

* * *

**. _.._**

* * *

Without taking his eyes off of his adversary, Allen moved cautiously forward.

 _"He's only a little upset for having been separated from the other kittens,"_ Mana had said. If anything, the tiny cat looked majorly pissed off at the world in general and Allen in specific, almost like another certain someone. _"Just give him food and you'll have his heart in no time."_

The question was, would Allen still have his _hand_ afterwards? The kitten's heart wasn't nearly as important to Allen as his own hands were. Even the defective, ugly one.

Still, now here he was, staring at the little cat from across the kitchen, an open can of cat food in his hand. Timcanpy was by his new plastic plate, golden eyes narrowed suspiciously at his new owner.

Oh yes, the cat had been a present for Allen.

 _"This doesn't mean you can't keep looking for the other kitten."_ Mana had said. _"Maybe if you take Timcanpy with you, the other one will come out to play!"_

 _"For some reason, I really doubt that…"_ Allen had muttered.

 _"Nonsense! Now go feed your cat! You have to bond, bond!"_ And he'd promptly shoved the two of them into the kitchen and left with the satisfied expression of someone who believes to have just accomplished something wonderful.

Allen took another step forward, and the golden kitten went from glaring daggers to wishing for Allen to spontaneously combust right there and then with his eyes.

The child took a hand to his head and threaded his fingers through the white strands, pulling a little on them in his exasperation. "Look, I really won't do anything bad to you, so you don't need to be afraid. Really. See, here?" He stretched out his arm, presenting the cat food. The cat hissed. "It's just food. Aren't you hungry?"

The worst part was that he didn't even feel stupid while talking to the cat.

He'd been doing something similar way too often lately.

"Goddamn cats, all of them jerks…" Allen mumbled under his breath and with a wide forced smile as he took another step forward.

The golden cat did not look convinced. The fur on its back was all standing up.

Allen sighed. He was too tired of trying to charm and befriend feline personalities. This time, if the cat wanted food, then the cat would have to come to the human and take it. No more begging for permission to help.

So with a confident nod to himself, the white-haired boy let himself fall to the ground and sat Indian-style, the can of cat food right in front of him, open and inviting, and a spoon and a small plastic plate on his lap.

"Take your time." Little Allen said, somewhat sulkily, and settled down to wait with his arms crossed over his chest.

* * *

**. _.._**

* * *

Ten minutes later, Timcanpy took a hesitant step forward.

Five minutes after that, the kitten was in the middle of the kitchen, eyeing the human cautiously. Allen's eyebrow twitched in annoyance at how long it was taking.

Fifteen minutes after that, and the yellow cat was finally approaching the food.

He sniffed experimentally, and Allen had to resist the urge to roll his eyes.

A tentative lick, another sniff. A glance up at the human, to make sure it wasn't moving. It wasn't. And was the human staring at the kitten's teeth? Heh. Let it stare.

Another lick. Then he tried to bite. Gah, the food was… not in a good position to bite. Grrrr. Damn can. The kitten's fur stood up in his irritation.

Allen snickered mentally and, moving slowly, picked up the spoon and the other plastic plate he had on his lap, trying not to think about those dangerous-looking teeth.

The cat looked startled, eyes wide with sudden fear, but then Allen was already putting delicious-smelling food on the plate right next to the kitty, and Timcanpy mentally thanked the wonderful human that was giving him food.

And oh, did it give him food. Whenever Timcanpy looked up clearly hoping for more, the wonderful, amazing human put more food on the plate! And with no brothers or sisters or mother to share it with, it was all his! All of that delicious, tasty, juicy food, all his! Oh, joy of joys! He was in heaven!

This human- this human was amazing! A-MA-ZING! Oh, food, glorious food!

Timcanpy looked up at his most adored human in the whole wide world and mewled softly for more food. His request was almost immediately answered, and Timcanpy immersed himself in food-induced bliss.

* * *

**...**

* * *

Allen blinked, surprised. He had put the cat food on the plate, and next thing he knew the golden kitten was eating delightedly, all signs of suspicion and aggression-waiting-to-happen gone, and seemingly not even minding the closeness of the boy.

If only it was always this easy.

Since only a spoonful didn't seem enough, even for such a small kitten, Allen had put another. And then when the kitten had finished and looked up again, and sniffed the can in Allen's hand with clear interest, Allen had given him a little bit more. But after eating that, Timcanpy had looked up once again and _purred,_ actually _purred,_ with a hopeful look in those – now friendly! -golden eyes, and a shocked Allen hadn't even thought twice before giving him a little more food.

And there the kitten was, eating happily and without a care in the world.

Well. Then maybe he wouldn't mind if Allen…?

The boy reached out with one hand, and tentatively stroked the kitten's back. It felt silky, and very warm…

The kitten paused in his eating momentarily to look up at Allen, who froze. Was the cat going to react badly…?

Timcanpy mewled softly and then went on eating. The boy smiled widely, completely delighted, an expression that made his pretty face light up. Timcanpy hadn't minded the touch!

But Allen knew animals did not appreciate being bothered while they were eating, so he decided to wait until the kitten was finished to try to pet him again.

A minute or two later, Timcanpy was licking the empty plate, and deciding that had been enough food for the evening, stepped back and sat on his hind legs to lick his front paws.

The white-haired boy watched, fascinated, as the miniature cat thoroughly cleaned himself with an expertise surely only an adult cat would have. Allen had never seen a cat do that from up close, though, so the whole thing was quite curious to him. There was even a position or two that left Allen intrigued enough to want to try those positions himself later. They looked really difficult, how could the cat make his body _do_ that?

But what really surprised the boy was when the yellow cat finally finished his "bath" and very calmly, like it was an everyday matter, climbed into Allen's lap, massaged his thigh with his front paws (the little claws coming out to dig into his skin, but they were so tiny it practically didn't hurt) and then curled up on it, shifting until he found a comfortable enough position.

Allen had followed the kitten's movements with curious silver eyes, and seeing it settle, a furry little bundle warm on his thigh, he raised his hand and tried stroking the fluffy golden fur. That earned him a loud purr from Timcanpy.

The bright smile from before appeared once again on little Allen's face. And it grew, and grew. His cheeks felt very warm, for some reason.

The child spent the rest of the evening petting and hugging his golden kitten, who was more than happy to allow his most adored human to do so and purred as loudly as a car motor for all he was worth.

* * *

**. _.._**

* * *

**End of Part I of Chapter 4**

_To be continued after the interlude_


	5. Interlude I: side story : Mana & 14th

 

* * *

** FAMILY**

* * *

.

.

"What're you still doing here, fancy trousers man?" a tiny little thing with white hair (not a wig!) and steely, indifferent eyes said in a bored drawl, with the heavy accent characteristic of the area.

The place was the kind where showing up with fairly clean clothes, and without holes, and keeping them that way (for the most part, at least) during your stay, meant some sort of degrading nickname for the length of said stay. And "degrading", of course, according to the residents' standards (to whom having 3 dollars was being rich and having no fleas living on you was being lonely and being clean was a sacrilege and an offense to decency and good society).

A glint of interest appeared in those strange metallic eyes, or maybe of amusement, but his voice remained motonone as he added, "You cocked everything up so bad you have got no money left?"

His hands were in the front pockets of his ratty trousers, his posture a relaxed slump. He was thin _(starved, since the day he'd been born, probably)_ and covered in filth, not to mention that he stank like he hadn't bathed in a week (which he probably hadn't), yet there was a certain gracefulness to him, to how at ease he was despite the state he was in, like living _(dying slowly)_ in the streets without one soul to care for him was his element.

The man with the smudged clown make up looked at his new companion who so mocked him, tilted his head to the side and finally gave a blinding smile, red, red painted lips stretching for what seemed like a mile.

"I thought I needed a little time off, actually, and so I came here. Or ended up here. I do not believe there is a difference, though." the smile, if possible, turned brighter. "Do you?"

The child looked a little confused and taken aback at that, but the clown was still speaking. "Besides, now I'm here to entertain everyone, isn't that just wonderful?" another too-happy three-thousand-watt smile.

That got the kid right back on track. "We don't need no funny shit," he declared haughtily, folding his small arms over his thin chest. "You wanna help, you get us food. Or money."

The man said nothing, and resumed what he'd been doing before the child's interruption.

If the lack of response annoyed the boy, he hid it well - at least until he suddenly dropped both his arms and the petulant expression and asked softly, "...is he dead?"

The clown was gazing down at the dead dog at his feet. "Yes," he replied serenely. There were no traces of a smile on his expression now.

"Car?" the boy grunted questioningly, throwing his fisted hands into his pockets again, expression closing off into something ugly.

"I believe so."

"Bloody car drivers know shit 'bout driving." the boy said with a scowl, sounding appalled.

A solemn nod and a thoughtful head tilt were the man's only reactions to that. "I should go bury him." he said some time later.

Well, it _wouldn't_ walk to its own grave.

The little boy frowned up at the extremely calm man then, slightly suspicious, then something like accusation badly hidden by forced indifference suddenly appeared in his strangely coloured eyes. "Aren't you sad?" the boy asked.

Wasn't he sad? When was he _not_ sad these days, the clown wondered. His lips curved in another bright _(empty)_ smile. "So sad I could-" he wrapped a hand around his own neck and tilted it awkwardly to the side, faking death by strangulation, or hanging. "- _die_." he crowed, poking his tongue out.

"Stop that!" the boy yelled, indignation and fury breaking through his fake nonachallance unexpectedly. He froze up for a second and then schooled his expression, hiding it all again. But it looked like there was quite the temper under that tough looking shell.

The boy glared filthily at the clown and continued, in a more moderate tone, "He's always been with you since you got here! I bet he was with you before that too!" _And now you're insulting him like that_ , went unsaid, but loudly implied. "Why aren't you sad?"

There was silence for a few moments, and the strange little boy calmed down a little, until the clown said at last, "I think all my tears have dried already." He showed his palms and raised his shoulders in a universal gesture of helplessness, eyes fixed on the body of the dead dog and avoiding the child's own eyes. There was a small sad smile on the old man's face now.

With his dirty white clothes and white face, that hopelessly sad expression and the black tear painted under his right eye, in that moment the man truly was the incarnation of the sad pierrot he was portraying.

At those words, the child deflated like a pierced balloon, shoulders sagging down and hands no longer balled into fists. He looked down, and his oily white hair shifted forward and hid his expression.

Together, the boy and the man stared down unhappily for a long time at the old dog's body. A quiet, almost silent sniffle broke it some time later. And then the little strange boy spoke again.

"I only saw him once or twice, with you. And then yesterday-" he paused, and a louder, wetter sniffle came from under the white bangs. "Yesterday he licked my hand, like it wasn't- and no one, I mean, no dog had ever- well, he licked my hand... so fucking sticky afterwards... and it was just that once, I didn't know him or anything and... So why am I-" he let out a few weak, wobbly laughs. "Why am I...?" and broke down sobbing, loudly and messily and ugly, crouching down and hugging his knees with one arm while furiously rubbing at his face with the other, as if to fisically put a stop to the onslaught of tears and agonized sobs.

The sad clown looked from the crying boy to his old dog and back again, and his eyes softened.

With one last respectful nod to his old companion, the clown turned to the boy and whipped out a polka dotted black and white kerchief out of the ragged puffy sleeve of his outfit. "Let us smile because we met him, not cry because he's gone!" the clown cried, startling the still-sobbing child into falling on his arse and looking up, surprised.

And then the man threw the polka-dotted cloth into the boy's face and started rubbing, getting it in an even worse state than before rather than cleaning it.

"Oh, dear boy, wipe your tears! Wipe your tears, my child!" he declared loudly and with barely hidden glee as he enthusiastically got snot and tears all over the boy's cheeks. "If you cry too much, you'll drown! Drown in your own tears, I say! And we can't have that, can we?"

"Fucking stop that- AAAGH-"

.

.

Mana Walker's life had never quite been a normal boring one. No one could have such a life while having the 14th as a brother. And for a life like that, one needed to be either a saint or a mad man (either of which guaranteed a not-quite-normal life). Mana liked to think he had a healthy dose of the latter and as much as anyone else of the former, which made for quite a good combination and he managed like that.

The 14th had, after all, oozed charisma since he'd been a teething babe, rendering most people helpless before his beseeching pouty lip (Mana not excluded) and since then he'd only gained practice. His approach changed as he got older, of course, but its effectiveness remained the same. The full force of the 14th's pout could make a strong man weep and hand over the password of all his bank accounts, and that meant more trouble than one could think possible. The 14th was one very easy to get to love.

The problem was, of course, to maintain that love. As Mana knew from experience, from living on the next room over, from endless fights at the dinner table and problems at school and several petty squabbles throughout their lives.

The 14th had too much imagination, too big an ego, too little self-control and too generous a soul. An explosive combination, that meant he was constantly in some mess or other, either because of some crazy idea he'd thought up on his own or because he'd wanted to help someone. He constantly got himself ( _and_ Mana, of course) into trouble due to one (or more) of his schemes.

The 14th fancied himself a "free thinker", "one not bound by the society's stifling rules" (the description changed constantly over time, this is the latest one) and had several strange tastes and opinions, resulting in him being what some called "extravagant", "weird" or, put more bluntly, "bloody fucking creepy and insane, that's what".

Take the whole nickname business, for instance. 14th was, of course, not his real name. But sometime in his early teens he'd gotten into History, or at least certain interesting aspects of it. He chose some misterious alchemist as one of his heroes and decided he wanted to get a nickname in his honour. And so he used his charm to get everyone to agree to using the ridiculous "14th" nickname. And as usual, Mana's little brother got his way.

Their parents hadn't even posed much of a problem, long resigned to their younger son's excentricities. Their mother had always called him "my dear little boy" anyway, and there wasn't much of a change there.

Their father frowned at him, looked him up and down, glanced at Mana as if for confirmation that this new foolishness was for real, and went back to reading his newspaper with a low grumble about idiot boys and their idiotic antics. He did start calling him 'boy' rather than use his name, though, so it was pratically a win for the 14th on that side too. In a rough, manly, I'm-not-really-going-to-say-anything-out-right-or-even-hint-that-I-actually-care-but-you'll-get-my-meaning-or-else talk (the kind that began with "You're almost a grown man, Mana" and ended with "Do that and you'll become a fine good man one day, son.") their father later told Mana to look after his brother and make sure he didn't do anything too loony and didn't get himself offed in some terrible and/or stupid way. With a long suffering sigh that spoke of the infinite patience he'd needed himself to face his many trials and just how much he could simpathise with his oldest son, he also told Mana to be strong in the face of hardship, and then retreated back behind the wall of his beer-and-newspaper (which seemed to last hours, even entire days on weekends).

Mana had, long before that manly, manly talk with his father, always been by his little brother's side (and so he remained ever since then, even during their greatest fight, in seventh grade) ever since their mother had sat Mana in her lap and put the newborn in his arms for the first time and he'd threwn up all over Mana's shirt. It was a matter of principle; as the oldest brother, he got to play with and protect his baby brother, and also to bully him if he got too annoying. Through the good and the bad, Mana would be there.

And Mana _was_ there all along, all through the prank phase in grade 1 that got his little brother in detention nearly every day, to what he couldn't help but refer to as the Name War in grade 6 or 7 - the name students in their school had given to the battle initiated by Mana's wayward brother for the right to sign his official school paperwork with his nickname, 14th, and to be called by that name by teachers and school employees alike. In this, as in everything else (or, well, a lot of things), Mana supported his brother and did his best to help him get what he wanted, through endless discussions with teachers and parents and classmates and even the school's Head, and putting up posters and almost going on strike and making signs and being ready to march in circles at the school gates with those same signs if it ever came down to that.

(eventually, a compromise was reached - the teachers _would_ call him 14th, and he'd be allowed to sign papers and reports and exams with it, but not other stuff, and could he please stop giving speeches and bringing in firefighter brigades in the middle of classes now, please? It was really disrupting the school's working hours).

Nowadays, few people but Mana know his brother as anything else other than "14th". His victory has been so complete Mana himself refers to him by that nickname even in his thoughts. It's somehow infuriating, really. Or mildly annoying, at least.

And perhaps it was this (quite bureaucratic at times) battle so early on in his life that got into Mana the seeds of his desire to become a lawyer that he felt a few years later.

With great marks and an even better memory, coupled with a knack for cracking puzzles and a strange ability to unsettle people if he so chose (a by-product of being the 14th's brother and one that got a lot of practice in living with such a sibling - startling and confusing the 14th was usually the only way to win an argument), Mana _did_ have the job cut out for him. Their parents were more than happy to help when he announced his plans at the end of high school.

However, in his long career as the 14th's brother, Mana never realized until some time later just _how much_ influence he had over his brother. Certainly, he was aware that his little brother deferred to and admired him somewhat, and that he loved Mana (even if sometimes that was hard to believe, and even if the 14th was quite insensitive and selfish and oblivious sometimes) as much as Mana loved him (which was quite a lot, or he wouldn't have put up with all the... hmm, bad stuff he did put up with because of his little brother), and yes, Mana was even aware of his reputation (or rather, status?) as the only one who could calm / reason with / argue AND win / convince / cheer up / understand / support / NOT support / properly scold / overall _HANDLE_ the 14th. There might even have been something like a "14th's keeper" nickname involved at one point.

Yet, despite knowing all this, it still came as a surprise when, after graduating from high school, the 14th followed in Mana's footsteps and enrolled university with the goal to become a lawyer as well.

And so it was. Through the whirlwind that university (and Mana's life in general) became once his younger brother joined him, Mana studied hard and somehow managed to keep both their necks intact despite all the ugly (and sometimes rather funny, even if the 14th had firmly informed him they were never again speaking of the Rentboy Incident ever again) messes the two of them found themselves in.

Eventually, he became the laywer he'd set out to be, specializing in real estates, and a few years later the 14th was becoming a criminal laywer himself.

.

.

The new job was the thing that somehow managed to contain all of the 14th's energy at long last. He focused on every client's case like it was the last and only one, spending all that energy and intent in his clients' best interests. In that aspect, Mana was extremely proud of his little brother, even if he gained a reputation of recklessness and effectiveness, as opposed to Mana's own of reliability and sometimes even brilliance.

Mana's life became something a little calmer, more stable, now that the 14th had finally found something that kept him grounded enough that Mana felt he didn't really need to worry too much. Even if the 14th's preferred line of work tended to involve flagrant cases of corruption and injustice involving underground alpha dogs or anything along those lines. The 14th was terribly smart, after all, and so charming (and partially utterly insane) that he could simply talk himself out of the trickiest situations most of the time. And in case that wasn't enough, he'd decided to take up martial arts during university. He may not be very experienced, but he wasn't completely defenceless either.

They talked on the phone very often, and saw each other at least once every other week - they remained as close as they'd ever been. Only now they didn't have to elbow each other for enough room at the table, and if they had a fight they could go to their respective houses rather than sulk in neighbouring rooms. Not to mention that Mana even acquired a dog at some point, which neither of them had ever experienced because their father had been allergic. He'd named it _Excalibur_.

Their parents' deaths on a car accident a few years later came as a sudden blow that nearly blew Mana's nice life to smitherens; the violent and completely unexpected way it all happened was almost too much. For both of them. The stern but fond presence of their father would no longer be there for them, or their mother's gentleness and easy affection. There one minute, gone the next. Mana mourned, and coped as well he could, and tried to move on.

It had a more visible and lasting effect on the 14th, and on a positive side. The maturity he'd always been lacking before, despite his age, somehow made itself apparent. He remained the same, of course, still raw power and charm and slight insanity, but more prone to seriousness every now and then, more subdued. His pace went from lightspeed to merely abysmally fast, and he began reflecting a little more on his decisions. He was still reckless and chased after people he shouldn't, hanging out with old friends from university that ran shady businesses and knew shadier people, but there was a heaviness to the 14th's presence that hadn't been there before.

This period of time was the only one in Mana's life up to that point that ever made him consider labelling his own life as a calm, boring one. Everything was normal, safe and expected (occasional idiotic behaviour and consequent sulk included) and if Mana wasn't exactly happy he was, at least, content.

Until that afternoon, and that phone call.

.

.

_Mr. Mana Walker? This is about your... brother, I believe..."_

Even before the soft-spoken woman on the phone had finished explaining how they'd found his number, Mana let the phone fall from his lax fingers and fell to his knees on the cold tiled floor of his kitchen, thinking, _he **can't** be dead._

_._

_.  
_

Mana's life had never been dull, or sad, or normal. A great part of it was owed to his parents and their support of his own mild quirks. Having them taken from him had been excruciating.

The biggest part of it, however, had been all because of his genius, insane little brother of the irresistible charm and infectious smiles, all he had had left, the only one he still had to protect. And he was gone. The day before, he'd phoned Mana, laughing and eager, telling him how he was just about to nail this one guy he'd been after for ages, how he'd carefully planned everything to catch the guy with the hand in the cookie jar. How that mess he'd been up to his neck in earlier? With this, he'd be totally free to walk away, it was brilliant. Mana had lifted an amused eyebrow his brother couldn't see but guessed and scowled at anyway, and told him to be careful.

And now, _messed with the wrong person_ , they said. _Entire warehouse went up in flames in a matter of seconds_ , they said. _Seen inside just before the explosion_ , they said.

Well, no one could blame Mana for going a teensy little bit mad.

Yet it wasn't the drinking, the not sleeping, or the not eating that eventually made it all go to Hell. It was the robber.

The next day, Mana was so stressed he ended up taking it all out on his boss at work, in a shouting match worthy of the annals of History and by far the most aggressive he'd ever been in all his life to _anyone_. And so Mana got fired.

With no money, no job, and no family, Mana didn't see any point in hope or in moving on, and added 'no house' and 'no memories' to the list. And because Mana couldn't quite leave him behind, he brought the dog with him.

.

.

That was how he came to be out in the snow a few days before Christmas, at a shelter for homeless people, playing a part as a clown to cheer everyone in exchange for a bit more meat on his soup, and finally met the strange little boy with white hair he'd seen once or twice before.

Allen, as he came to find was the boy's name, was a complicated little person. Living in the streets, he'd built up a thick wall between himself and the world, an armor with the shape of the "tough guy" he really wasn't. Or, well, it wasn't _all_ of him. The child was very strong indeed - he just didn't quite know how to use his strengths to his advantage, and instead tried to project an image of what strength was to him.

Mana wasn't at all surprised when a few days after their talk over _Excalibur_ 's dead body, he caught the boy harrassing some old woman for some change, scowling like he'd hit her and run if she didn't do it quickly. That may have been the first time Mana had felt a pang of, of _something_ a little possessive towards Allen, when he'd stepped up and lowered a hand to his thin shoulder, and told him he'd get farther in life if he wore a smile instead of a scowl.

It had inadvertedly turned into a life lesson for Allen, who seemed to quickly understand the meaning and take shameless advantage of it. In that way, he reminded Mana of his deceased brother, and the enthusiasm with which he'd speak to whomever he'd be trying to con into doing something for him, and how with a certain smile at the right moment anyone would _always_ give in.

Allen was like that, a little - a force of nature, charismatic and captivating, and capable of lighting up an entire room with a smile when he was truly happy (and he was quickly learning how to do it even when he wasn't so the cooks would sneak in a little more into his plate), possessing a determination quite unlike any Mana had ever seen.

They talked, nearly every day, because in all his complexity and yet pure simplicity mixed in there, Allen was so very interesting, and so like... Mana wouldn't think about him.

Allen kept coming to him, with a broken toy, or a book he wanted read or some bizarre tale about another of his days on the streets.

It was really no wonder when, slowly, Mana began to feel more like himself, and less like the Earth had been ripped from under his feet and he'd lost his center. Allen became the one he could look after, and help, and protect. He became someone dear to Mana, and for him Mana felt the resolve to take back his old life and give Allen the opportunity to have one as well taking shape and strengthening in his mind.

After he found out about Allen's arm and how it was the reason he'd been abandoned at the orphanage he'd ran away from and, despite how _wrong_ it looked, how it must be awful to have something like that for an arm, he still couldn't make himself abandon that idea.

Mouth hanging open in shock at having someone freely and unconcernedly accept his defect, Allen could only let out a choked 'yes' when Mana asked him if he'd be interested in having Mana adopt him.

.

A YEAR LATER

.

.

**Dear Mana, I hope this note finds you well. It is splendid here in Hawaii! The women are gorgeous! Tell Marian hi for me, yes?**

**14th**

.

.

Mana's eyebrow twitched.

This... this was...

He'd lost his job.

His money. His house.

Even his _dog_.

In the terrible grief that had enshrouded him, Mana had been barely able to see any reason to live anymore. Because his little brother had been hideously murdered and taken from him. Because he'd failed his brother, and let someone hurt him. Mana had, admittedly, gone mad for a while there, missing his brother and his voice and all the stupid things he said.

And now...

Now Mana got a... a postcard. With a dried flower attached. With a pretty topless woman smiling in her straw skirt. From freakin' _Hawaii_.

For the second time in his life, Mana Walker threw his arms up in the air and let out a wordless scream of unbridled rage, wishing he could just take his anger out on the _entire world_.

"Mana?" came Allen's uncertain and slightly worried voice from the kitchen.

"It's nothing, little one." Mana bit out with some difficulty through clenched teeth and a forced smile. "Just some... _very_ good news." The man ignored Allen's disbelieving expression when he poked his head through the door to look at him.

Oh yes. Very good news. Now he'd have the pleasure of killing his brother _himself_. Because Mana was going to kill him. He was going to kill him and this time he was bloody going to dance on the grave.

**.End**


	6. Instinct of the Animal Part II

* * *

_What saves a man is to take a step. Then another step. It is always the same step, but you have to take it_.

Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, _Wind, Sand and Stars_ , 1939

_**Chapter 4** _

_**Part II** _

* * *

For some reason, the cat-boy was extremely difficult to talk to. Usually he preferred staying away from Allen, a tree or two away, either hiding up in the tree's leaves or under some bush near it.

Sometimes, no matter how much Allen talked or what he said, the hybrid refused to say a word. On good days, he got a snarl and a pine cone thrown at his head. On the _very_ good days, anything Allen said would earn him a caustic response from somewhere nearby – usually from a branch somewhere up on the tree Allen was sitting against – _and_ a pine cone thrown at his head.

He really wished the hybrid would lose that appreciation for throwing things, it hurt like a b- Ahem.

From time to time, Allen didn't feel like talking much and brought his notebooks with him, so he could do his homework. They both stayed silent on those days, but Allen could sense the cat-boy closer than usual.

It also happened that sometimes the Pet was on the ground, wrapped up in his blankets, and only half hidden behind a bush, a tree or a rock – these were the _exceptionally good_ days, and Allen knew better than to spoil the other's mood with talking, so he just sat down nearby and stayed silent. He usually busied himself with mental calculations or thinking about what chores he would have to do once he got home, or what he had to tell Mana to buy next time he went grocery shopping.

Kanda and Allen quickly found a comfortable routine that seemed to have been going on forever, like they knew each other since the beginning of times.

Comfortable, of course, had nothing to do with "companionable".

" _You_. Are an idiot."

"Says the one living in trees. Monkeys are less intelligent than humans, you know."

"Plants don't even have a fucking brain, _moyashi._ "

"Would you quit calling me that?" Allen blinked up at the hybrid half hidden in the leaves of a branch. "Wait, that is some kind of _plant_? You've been calling me a vegetable or something all this time?"

"…bean-sized brain to match your bean-sized body, yeah?"

"Please. Go lick yourself or something and spare me the stupid comments."

A thundering growl coming from above was what he got for a reply before his head nearly split open in pain. Yet another pine cone had made enthusiastic acquaintance with Allen's head. "AH-OW! WHAT THE-" Allen yelled, looking up at the hybrid hidden from his sight. "Would you stop _doing_ that?"

"Fucking be grateful I didn't kill you." Which was something Kanda wouldn't do, for several reasons – one of them being the food the human brought with him – but the kid didn't know that.

Allen rolled his silver eyes. "Yes, because having to deal with you is so much better than being dead and _not_ having to constantly hear you bit-! insult me. And throw things at me." He rubbed the back of his head with a frown. "With a killer aim, might I add."

A mildly amused snort came from somewhere up in the tree.

And then Timcanpy, who so far had stayed asleep in his lid-covered basket, decided to wake up and announce his presence in the waking world with a loud mewl.

At the sudden stifling silence, Allen didn't know if this had been a good idea.

But it was not like he cared. That much. Surely a cat hybrid wouldn't mind meeting a real cat?

* * *

* * *

The sudden mewl sent warning bells ringing in Kanda's head and he stiffened, body locked into place by his usual _fight or flight_ instinct. Which usually ended up with him automatically choosing the first one, anyway (a rather inconvenient instinct when the situation demanded thought and not gut-driven action).

But to suddenly hear something you were not expecting while in the company of a _human_ who had had contact with the Shop's men… Kanda snarled.

"This is my kitten, Timcanpy!" Came the human's overly cheerful voice from below.

Kanda was already on hands and knees, claws digging into the wood and dark slit eyes set on that white head down below – when had he changed from lying on his back on the branch to this position? – and his dark hair fell on the sides of his face as he leaned down, perched on the edge, following every minute movement the human made.

"Mana gave him to me yesterday." The human was saying as he reached for a basket he'd brought with him – Kanda had assumed it contained food – and taking off the lid. A furry yellow head popped out of the basket, followed by a pleased long swishing tail. The human kid picked up the golden kitten and set it on his lap, under the blanket.

Kanda's eyes followed the action like a hawk's. The dark-haired hybrid watched the mitten-clad hand rise to pet the furry golden head, as the pretty human child continued saying something Kanda didn't pay attention to. The kitten nuzzled the hand petting him, looking relaxed and content. Such was obvious even in his scent, that Kanda could now catch. The cat also looked pretty comfortable in that warm lap, half-covered by a blanket.

This entire situation had been unexpected. Suddenly the human had brought something new into the equation, and thus surprised Kanda.

Kanda did not like being surprised.

His dark blue eyes narrowed at the yellow kitten down below, on the kid's lap, purring into the hand petting him.

Unexpected. No, he didn't like it.

Oh, Kanda did not like it at all.

* * *

_..._

* * *

"So, this is Tim. Well, his name is Timcanpy but that was too long so I decided to just call him Tim. And Tim, this is…" Allen trailed off. Come to think of it, he'd never asked the Pet his name. He'd always just shouted "cat guy!" while planning to ask him his name as soon as they properly talked, but he'd somehow forgotten. He looked up, big silver eyes curious, trying to see the other through the leaves and branches that were in the way. "What's your name, by the way? You never told me."

His words were only met with silence.

Allen blinked. And suddenly noticed the absence of the now so familiar feeling of being watched.

"Hey…?" he called hesitatingly. "You there?" Stupid question, really. He already knew the Pet was gone. Yet he tried again. "HEY!"

Nothing.

He'd left.

* * *

_..._

* * *

Timcanpy did not usually get bored when at home – there were lots of things for him to do there. Eat, sleep on Allen, chew Allen's slippers, hunt flies on the windows, eat, sleep on Allen's bed, run all over the house after a little ball with a bell inside, climb to the kitchen table, perch on Allen's head while his human did his homework, pester Mana with annoying mewls for no good reason, sleep on Allen's discarded shirt, eat some more…

But that did not mean Tim didn't like going out. There were all sorts of interesting new scents and things to see, and Tim enjoyed it a lot. He was even planning on exploring a bit on his own one of these days. But for now his human seemed to like taking him along, and it was all very nice.

The golden kitten couldn't help but wonder, though, why there were always these waves of distress almost emanating from his Allen whenever they went back to that tree.

* * *

_..._

* * *

For the next several days, Allen faithfully went back to their meeting place, occasionally bringing Tim with him. Considering the cat-boy had disappeared when he'd announced his presence, maybe that was not such a good idea, but...

But there was nothing (else?) Allen could do to make the Pet come back. All he had was Mana's suggestion that maybe "the kitten would come out if Allen brought Tim with him."

Which wouldn't work. But still. _Still._

(Allen found himself clinging almost desperately to it.)

But no longer did he feel eyes on him whenever he visited the tree behind the playground.

* * *

_..._

* * *

There was the tree again. Instead of approaching it immediately, Allen always found himself staring up at it from a certain distance, trying to see a shadow hidden somewhere among the leaves, hear the rustling of clothes against branches, feel the weight of solemn dark eyes watching him.

And nothing.

Just the quietness of the forest. Somehow it always seemed more silent during winter, as if the snow muffled the sounds.

Not. A. Sound.

The white-haired boy did not like it.

"Well", he muttered, and fell silent.

The rustling leaves, shaken by the wind, were the only sound. And then the boy just couldn't take it anymore.

"YOU'RE A JERK!" Allen yelled, feeling a sudden anger welling up in his chest. His gloved hands were tight fists pressed against his sides. He could feel Tim against his chest, under his jacket, and he was probably scared, but there was just too much, too much, _too much_ \- "YOU'RE A GIRLY HAIR FREAK, A BASTARD AND A BLOODY COWARD! YOU AFRAID O' SOMETHIN' OH KITTY BOY?"

And nothing, nothing, nothing. It made him want to kick something.

Allen was angry. So, so angry.

…

So why did he feel like he wanted to apologize?

* * *

_..._

* * *

Every day Allen came back.

And every day no one was there.

He liked to pretend there was, though. Anything to fill that hateful silence (somewhere along the line, Allen had forgotten how to not feel affected by the lack of response). Even a pine cone directly aimed at the bridge of his poor nose would have been welcome by now. But he got no such thing, and so Allen talked to himself. Or to Tim, whenever he brought him, which wasn't as often now. He talked and talked and talked.

The silver-eyed child slowly lost that habit as well, though. He just wrapped the blankets more tightly around his thin body and waited for his not-exactly-friend to come back.

* * *

**_..._ **

* * *

Turns out Lady Luck was not feeling generous towards Allen. Or maybe she'd just forgotten about him, since he was so tiny (according to that pest of a hybrid- whom Allen would _not_ think about).

So first, the Pet disappeared. Then at school, they got their math exam's results – and Allen's was so terribly bad that even _Daysia_ flinched at the grade. At home, the damn pipes in the bathroom decided to rebel and start leaking water everywhere. Timcanpy almost drowned in the toilet (was saved by Allen's timely appearance). Then Mana burned his hand on the stove. Allen lost an umbrella somewhere. And a pair of gloves. And forgot to do his homework. And accidentally broke a glass. Mana scolded him, but then ended up breaking one as well almost immediately after. It seemed that when bad luck struck, it was not just a single it, it was an avalanche.

After that, fortunately, things seemed to calm down a little ('Thank god!' Mana had muttered, on his knees in the bathroom, cleaning the floor). The Pet was still gone, but there were no more awful grades on tests or glasses breaking or pipes rioting. Things were somewhat stable. Not good, but stable.

And then Timcanpy went missing.

* * *

_..._

* * *

Contrary to what Allen believed, Kanda hadn't really left.

He hadn't suddenly found himself being persecuted by a bunch of the Shop's men, hot on his trail, so obviously the Moyashi's sudden addition to what Kanda unconsciously had already deemed "normalcy" hadn't meant anything besides that. So Kanda didn't run to the mountains.

Worse than that. He found himself occasionally going back to the area surrounding his meeting place with the Moyashi. Sometimes he even got close enough to hear that annoying high voice. Once or twice he'd dared sneak a quick peek at the kid and his cat.

However, the panther hybrid was still not comfortable about it, so he didn't go back to the tree. Dark ears flat against his messy long hair and long black tail rigid, looking at that ball of yellow fluff in the kid's lap made Kanda feel uneasy. He couldn't exactly say why. He just didn't like it.

Staying away had been the smart, cautious thing to do. It was _still_ the smart and cautious thing to do. He'd already started getting too involved with the human kid. Kanda should stay away, no matter how many times the kid came back. And that's what Kanda did, ignoring the talking and other sounds he could hear from the human whenever he was in the area, and almost never briefly peeked at him from afar again.

Gradually, he heard the human less and less, until the kid stopped talking at all. But the wind still brought his scent to Kanda, so the Pet knew he was there.

Thinking about the kid sitting under that tree silently waiting irritated Kanda for some reason. So he chose _not_ to think about it, and kept avoiding the place.

Even though he was quite hungry and hadn't managed to find that much to kill lately. And hunting at night, considering how low the temperature got at that time, was absolutely out of the question. Kanda was a half-animal, not an idiot.

Even if that was false, according to a certain human kid Kanda was _not_ going to think about.

* * *

_..._

* * *

Somehow, that day Kanda found himself near the area once again. And the fucking silence was goddamn _bothering_ him.

So it surprised him a little when he sensed hurried steps and a quickened breath barreling through the plants separating the playground from their meeting place and towards the tree. Curiosity prickled in a corner of Kanda's mind, but not enough to make him go take a look.

He'd be able to know what was going on perfectly well from where he was.

The scent hit him a second before the kid erupted from the bushes, panting loudly.

The human took a few moments to catch his breath, and Kanda could imagine him looking around, trying to catch a glimpse of the hybrid, or maybe using that weird-ass sixth sense of his to guess if Kanda was there or not. He was probably wearing those stuffy warm clothes Kanda always saw him wearing, and must be all flushed and sweating, spikes of fluffy white hair a mess and falling over his face in stark contrast with the maroon tattoo.

It still disturbed Kanda how much like an Owned Pet the human looked. Too good-looking to be human. Or maybe Kanda's memory was deceiving him – he hadn't taken a good look at the Annoying Kid in a good while, after all.

After a few more moments of silence, the human's child voice rang through the trees, loud and clear. Kanda could have been even farther away than he already was and he still would have heard him perfectly.

"I _know_ -" Kanda heard him say, breathless and sounding resigned.

"I don't know if you're there," he went on after a pause, clearly rethinking his words. "I don't know if you were there yesterday or the day before-"

So apparently it was not the first time he came here specifically to say this… whatever it was.

"-and I don't know if you'll be there ever again and I'm here just talking to myself as usual." The boy let out a humorless little laugh. "Just like usual,'s not . But he needs-" He hesitated, for a second, and then suddenly the words were tumbling out in a rush and with a tint of despair somewhere in there. "You must be mad at me, I realize that, but whatever I did, please, I'm _sorry_ , I'm terribly sorry, and I'll apologize a thousand times over for my very _existence_ if you want, I'll do it, I _swear_ \- Just. Please. Help him. Find him. Find Timcanpy. He's just a kitten. Lost out there. I hate having to- I'm not- I-" he was stumbling all over his words now. "It's… it's the only thing I'll ever ask of you. _Please._ " Kanda's sensitive ears even caught the gulp, like the kid was having trouble swallowing. " _Help_."

* * *

_..._

* * *

Things have a lovely habit of never going as smoothly as one wished.

Kanda narrowed his dark eyes, feeling the snarl deep in his throat make his skin vibrate against the black collar around his neck. His breath was a puffy white cloud in front of him and a cracking sound came from below, where his claws were digging deep into the cement as he flexed his hands reflexively. Great, now he'd have to sharpen them again on something after this was over. Kanda's glare intensified.

The huge black dog at the entrance of the dark alleyway glared back every bit as fiercely. It took a slow step forward. Kanda's snarl immediately turned louder in warning, his tail whipping around behind him. He hunched his shoulders, the muscles in his arms bulging. Kanda was watching everything with wide, wild dark eyes, ready to attack. No move from his opponent would surprise him.

If a human had witnessed the scene, he would have thought he was seeing an abandoned child, starved, tangled knots of black hair spilling down his shoulders and back and dirty and bloodstained clothes, going against a dangerous dog. The tail and the ears would be strange details, of course, but seem nothing that the kid could use to protect himself.

But to the dog, even though the Pet had a mostly human appearance, the hybrid was something other, dangerous and feral in all its snarling glory, that had intruded in the dog's territory.

With a growl the dog, a Doberman, bared his gleaming white fangs and leaped towards the half-human, all teeth and claws and muscle in compact and agile figure, against almost bare skin and sharp claws.

* * *

_...  
_

* * *

Minutes later, a black dog shot out of a dark alleyway howling, a large bleeding gash along its flank, and ran down the street looking absolutely terrified.

In the alleyway, only the shadows moved.

* * *

_..._

* * *

An old human male passed by, and Kanda ducked under the car, smooth as a shadow.

The dog had been fun, but he couldn't possibly do the same to a human. There _was_ a limit to his idiocy. (His miniature sane self in his brain scoffed at that.)

Avoiding the line of sight of the human, Kanda got out of under the car to disappear behind the corner of the nearest house and barely avoided crashing into a trash can. Stepping around it in one fluid four-stepped movement, the Pet hid behind it. This narrow space in between two buildings was empty, stray plants growing from the cracks on the cement ground, another trash can a few ways away with two plastic bags beside it, a shallow pool o water. The graffiti on the walls was barely visible as the sun sunk in the horizon and the shadows lengthened and darkened. And it seemed this in-between area went all the way towards the back of the building, too. Good. Kanda could go that way, then, and see where to go from there.

No new scents being brought by the breeze, no sounds of steps. Good. Kanda glued himself to the wall and ran towards the corner of the house.

And barreled into a trash can that he had _not_ noticed earlier.

_Godfuckingdammit- oh, what the hell. More fruit. And what's this white thing- smells gross-*_

* * *

_..._

* * *

In this rather unplanned adventure in the strange and unknown world that is 'civilization', Kanda was quickly learning one very important thing: trash cans are _evil_.

They hide behind corners you turn and on the other side of walls you jump over, and the smells (even before you crash into them and they fall and spill their contents) are intense and distracting and misleading. No matter how close he had his nose to the ground, once Kanda reached one the trails quickly faded into the other, stronger scents, and the panther couldn't find them again. Not that he had found the _right_ trail as of yet.

And he was covered in trash. Ugh.

Disgusted, Kanda flicked his right ear briskly so a rotting banana peel fell off his head. This was all so very frustrating.

 _Fucking cat,_ he thought grudgingly as he avoided almost slipping on some oil spilling from an almost empty plastic bottle he'd overturned. _Fucking useless waste of fur._

He'd followed the Strange Moyashi Brat home. Oh yes. He was closer to the cursed city than ever before since his escape, and he was feeling every cell in his body scream at him to turn around and leave. Also, his survival instincts were calmly informing him - with the tone of those personally offended - that Kanda was obviously an _idiot_.

Someone smart wouldn't have impulsively followed the human kid after just a few seconds of profound consideration. Which had basically consisted of a first thought of "ha! What do I fucking care?", a second of "I should find that stupid cat and show this little human bastard how it's done. Heh." and there had not been a third thought.

This had not, his instincts told him, been a rational, careful decision.

The thing with Kanda is that for a human that has roughly 38% of his DNA in common with a wild animal, he can be terrifyingly rational. It just so happens that he chooses not to exercise that rationality most of the time, or his temper chooses for him. A trait that in the past had meant quite a bit of trouble for Kanda.

In this particular case it meant actually considering doing something rather risky for his well being and freedom, for the sake of a whiny brat and a disgusting excuse for a yellow mop that was to blame for all this.

(What 'this' was exactly, Kanda never really put much thought into it.)

Of course, in Kanda's currently not-so-highly-rational mind, things were not phrased like that. In his mind, there were words like 'clothes' and 'food', which for some strange reason made him feel uncomfortable and the word 'debt' appear, and also 'unhappy kid means no kid which means no helpful info on the men from the Shop', which was probably the most logical thought he had going and the one he'd cling to whenever he thought back on this once the whole thing was over.

Meanwhile, he was just focusing on mapping out all the scents around the kid's house and immediate surroundings, and trying to find the right one. Good thing he'd brought with him the cat toy he'd found in the kid's garden. The scent in the toy was strong, and having it with him was better than just relying on Kanda's memory.

Ignoring the slimy feeling on the side of his head left by the banana peel from earlier, Kanda climbed up the wall separating the kid's neighbor's garden from the outside, jumped to the ground and promptly fell onto a bunch of plastic bags that burst open under his weight, covering the panther Pet and the ground in all sorts of trash.

Blowing his own dirty (now dirtier) hair out of his face with a furious snarl, Kanda swore profusely as he got up and shook the junk off of himself. His long tail whipped around furiously behind him, dripping some foul smelling liquid everywhere. He'd have to steal new, clean clothes when this was over.

Things were _not_ going well.

* * *

_..._

* * *

All in all, it was a smelly, tiring and nerve-wracking experience. Kanda wandered around the kid's home and nearby houses, hiding under cars and carefully trimmed bushes and in the growing shadows as the sun set, always jumping at the smallest sound, claws extending immediately.

It was not like he expected the Shop's men to know he was so near the city, but one of them could have been passing by and seen him and come back with a bunch of friends. Or one of the neighbours could have seen a kid with a tail and cat ears crawling in their garden and thought it best to call the Shop. Or something. Kanda's eyes kept darting around even has he had his face so close the ground he _shouldn't_ be able to see anything else, but the truth was that healthy levels of paranoia keep the half-human alive and free. But not from stumbling into trash cans whenever there was one nearby.

(It was like there was some sort of law of attraction. Kanda + trash can nearby – inevitably led to clumsy collision and scattering of rubbish. One would think a half-animal wouldn't have this sort of problem.)

In gardens and backstreets and trees and trash cans (which were evil) and under cars (which was oily) and inside the empty house nearby and on roofs (which made Kanda imagine the human kid searching there as well and falling off, a rather amusing thought) and in more trash cans Kanda searched, trying to catch a whiff of the same scent the toy he carried had.

That scent would be easy enough to recognize, if not to differentiate from the surrounding ones – a mix of the smells surrounding the kid's house (that made wood, ceramics, fluffy carpets and blankets and food come to Kanda's mind) and the warm musk of an animal, with the sharpness that indicated a fellow feline, and under all that, the faint scent of human, that Kanda could recognize as Moyashi's.

The scent of feline was much stronger than he'd ever smelled, though. Was it because the track was fresh, or because it was from an actual animal and not one of the hybrids Kanda had met all his life? Ah, whatever.

The Annoying Human Nuisance's house was in the outskirts of the city, and its back garden led directly to the forest, separated from it only by low trees and bushes and some plants. It was more than likely that the kitten had wandered that way and gotten lost, but Kanda, trying to think rationally for once, decided to try looking in the urban surroundings first. The cat might have chosen to go explore something that was more familiar to it rather than the absolutely unfamiliar forest, or have been attracted to the strong smells and shiny things or something.

This actually meant that in his practical and optimistic mind, Kanda figured the cat would be quicker to find if it had been run over by a car.

Which would make this stupid search fucking pointless, but then – the kid's plea echoed again in his ears. Which it had been, a plea, that is, and half of Kanda had wanted to laugh at the kid's expense, _how does it feel to be powerless, human?_ and the other half had been too focused on the unpleasant [angry] churning in his stomach at seeing that bratty, stubborn kid like that.

However, Kanda really would have to give up if he found the scent and the trail led deep into the neighborhood, towards the city. There was a limit to how close he was willing to get to civilization – and to the Shop, in particular.

But in the end, all the panther hybrid got for his troubles were smelly, dirty clothes, a new collection of scratches, fur covered in all sorts of sticky, goo-ish things, and the paranoic belief that trash cans were out to get him.

Conclusion? Either Kanda had failed to find an existing trail (which should be impossible), or the fucking cat had wandered into the forest (which maybe should have been obvious).

What to choose?

…

Well, _of course_ the fucking cat had gone to the forest. Damn all motherfucking stupid cats with a beansprout's sense of direction. Or lack thereof.

* * *

_..._

* * *

And so Kanda quickly made his way back towards the forest, narrowly avoiding more strange encounters with the urban fauna (including the plastic, filled with trash sort) except for the unavoidable ones (having cats yowling and hissing and sniffing at you was _not_ pleasant or convenient when you were trying to go unnoticed here).

He'd gratefully greeted the trees, the fresh scent invading his nose immediately once he submerged himself in the green, hidden from the sight of the Annoying Moyashi's house.

It was almost insulting when, more or less a mere hour and a half later, he found the scent he'd been looking for for the past 4 hours. From there, it was almost easy tracking down the stupid cat, half dead and half buried in the snow, where it seemed to have fallen asleep. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

The moon was high in the sky and the wind was picking up as Kanda, knees deep in snow and long hair fluttering around him, gazed down at the yellow kitten almost completely covered in snow, heaving shallow, slow breaths as it froze to death without noticing.

Stupid, so stupid.

Kanda bent down and picked it up with both his hands, and raised it to eye level.

The Pet felt a little angry, a little frustrated, and a little something else he couldn't really identify as he looked at the unconscious cat in his hands. He'd never seen a real cat from up close before. And this strange little furry thing, all wet and cold and pathetic, with its dirty yellow fur and the ridiculously long tail, so cold it was past trembling and so stupid it couldn't survive on its own, was- It would be so easy to-

White hair, white skin, a red mark and silver eyes flashed in Kanda's mind.

Dark, unreadable eyes considered the little yellow body in his hands for a moment longer.

Then Kanda slipped it under his shirts, not even hissing at the freezing temperature of the small body directly touching his skin, and disappeared in the depths of the forest.

* * *

**...**

* * *

Kanda was pretty sure about what he'd have to do. First, get the stupid cat to his place. Second, dry it. He'd use a blanket for that. Third, keep it warm. This was all very obvious since it was what Kanda himself wanted when he was cold.

He'd done all that, he'd even been generous enough to offer a bit of the leftovers he had – two little birds and a half-eaten lizard – to the half-dead cat. But after Kanda was done energetically rubbing the cat all over with a blanket, it had suddenly woken up and _bit_ his hand. It fucking _bit_ him, that little piece of shit, and scratched at him and slipped from his hold.

And Kanda had leaped at him, ready to beat some fucking _respect_ into his inferior. He'd fortunately reminded himself in time that the little yellow fucker was _not_ to be eaten, killed or maimed, and so it ended up being a rather one-sided bout of scratching violence, from which only Kanda walked away with battle scars, that ended with a pissed off panther making little enraged noises in a corner and a little pile of golden fur silently gloating and emitting waves of smugness from the other.

And now Kanda could _feel_ those golden eyes glaring holes into him, for whatever reason (who the hell was the yellow midget to be offended when it had been the disrespectful one?) from across the small space. Which made Kanda glare back just as fiercely. The atmosphere in Kanda's little spot was tense.

Outside, the wind roared.

This was going to be a long night.

* * *

_..._

* * *

Kanda carefully scratched the new wounds in his fingers. Rather than hurting, those small scratches caused by the yellow fucker's tiny claws itched like a-

Footsteps, snow being crunched under shoes. Kanda's ears tilted immediately in the direction of the sound.

Hmmm. Was it the Brat at last? Kanda shifted in his position, trying to get the squirming bundle of blankets under his clothes into a more comfortable position. Maybe crouching with the stupid cat still in its blanket and under Kanda's shirts had not been a good idea.

Moyashi's scent reached his nose. Time to move. Only a few seconds left.

The Pet got on all fours, slapped the bundle under his clothes for it to stop squirming, and moved down the tree and to the ground, his feet and hands seemingly finding the best spots to grip without effort and naturally choosing where to step that would make no sound. After all this time in the forest, how to move silently had become second nature to Kanda.

He carefully made his way towards the tree where he and the kid used to sit but stopped before leaving the tall vegetation behind it. Lying down on his side on the snow, he took out the blanket and put it next to him. Inside it, the cat sensed he was being let out and started struggled violently.

Kanda rolled to lie on his stomach, holding the blanket-covered cat under his right arm so it wouldn't get free, and only a second later, the human kid arrived, looking around. The white-haired boy stopped briefly, looking surprised, and then hugged his jacket closer to himself before walking to the usual tree.

"I know you're there." He said.

Freaky sixth sense still as healthy as ever. Glad to know.

Kanda's hands moved to let out the cat, but then hesitated over the knot. He stared at it, then looked back at the kid.

"I don't really get _why_ , though. Suddenly changed your mind?" the child's gloved hands were curled into fists at this sides. "I've been here every day. And every day I've said the same thing. My cat got lost. I'd like you to help me find him. But for some reason I doubt you'd do that, you selfish bastard. You just want to laugh at me, don't you." He sneered to himself.

The Pet stared at the white-haired child, scratched hand hovering over the knot keeping the cat trapped and away from the kid, long black tail still and rigid behind him. Suddenly he felt like going up to that brat and knocking him a new one, kicking him around and adding a few punches for good measure, and then killing him. He was freaking _annoying_ , even just standing there looking expectant and tired and sad.

Kanda looked down at the balled up blanket with the human's cat inside, and loosened the knot after only a second of hesitation. The stupid yellow thing hissed and tried to scratch him again, but Kanda ignored it and picked up the cat with both his hands. Then putting the cat in front and away from him, Kanda lightly shoved him forward. _Go, stupid cat._ Shove shove. _Go._

With a dismissing flick of tail and one last glare from the corner of his eyes, Tim just sat there and refused to move. _Finally_ he was free of that moron not-person thing that didn't know what real food was. But like hell was Tim about to do what it wanted.

Kanda could feel a vein popping out on his forehead. _You little bitch-_

He grabbed the cat by its sides and crawled forward, through the bush, using his knees and elbows, with a litany of _fucking bitch, stupid yellow fucker, hateyouhateoyou_ going in his head as the cat struggled in his grip.

* * *

_..._

* * *

Allen was glaring at his boots. The feeling of being watched was there again, it had been so long since he'd felt it, or been sure that's what he was feeling, that it felt almost weird. But nothing was being said or thrown at him, there was nothing else to tell that the hybrid was there. It was just like Allen was alone in the middle of the empty forest covered in snow. Just like in the first days.

A rustling of leaves and strange sounds made him look up. From the middle of the small leaves and tiny branches, two pale and dirty hands covered in scratches appeared, carrying the yellow kitten Allen had been so desperately searching for for the last four days. The hands carefully put the squirming kitten on the snow and quickly retreated and disappeared.

Tim sent one last glare through the corners of his eye and stepped away from the not-person's hands. The snow was really cold, though. Really, all Timcanpy wished for right now was to be home again with his Allen-human. Tim was tired of plants and snow and no-food. The interesting things he saw around here were no match to food and warmth and Allen-human.

As for Allen, he couldn't believe his eyes. Was that-? Was that-?

"TIM!" he shouted. "C'mere, Tim!"

Oh, Allen-human was here! He could go back home now! Tim immediately forgot about the not-person thing and happily made his way towards his most adored human in the whole wide world, mewling softly and fully intending to rub himself all over Allen's legs to show his happiness.

"Oh, Tim…" Allen said, feeling too many things all at once. His words were coming out sounding more like sobs. He kneeled on the snow and held his arms out. "Tim…"

Hidden in the middle of the vegetation, Kanda watched. This was how it was supposed to be. Heh. He'd showed that human bastard how things were done! Yes he had! And now that fucking cat was rubbing his furry head against Moyashi's cheek, probably purring. Heh. Stupid fucker. And the kid was all teary, pffff. What a stupid little bitch, he really looked just about ready to cry. It made Kanda kind of mad, actually.

The kid should just leave now. Why wasn't he leaving? Kanda didn't want to have to watch some sappy happy reunion or the kid's sob fest over that waste of fur. Yeah, Kanda should be the one to get up and leave then. He had nothing to do here. At all. Should just go back to his place and mind his own business. He had nothing to do with those two. Fuck, he wanted nothing to do with those two. He'd never wanted anything. Che, he'd never want anything from a human.

So yeah. He was going to leave and go find something to eat and stay the fuck away.

.

Kanda went on watching, dark blue eyes never leaving the happy pair by the tree, black furry ears lying down against his head and a strange feeling in his chest. He didn't leave.

* * *

_..._

* * *

When Allen finally calmed down, it was only to go on a scolding rant, mingled with the occasional sniff here and there, and squeezing the poor cat in his arms the entire time.

"I missed you so much, Tim! Don't ever, ever, ever get lost again, I was so worried-!" Allen babbled as he squished the poor kitten against his chest, that responded by lovingly chomping on his exposed wrist in warning. "Ow, watch the teeth, the teeth!"

When he was finally done, after much squeezing and sniffling and a few more bites, Allen got up with the golden kitten purring happily in his arms, nibbling on the tip of the braided tie hanging from the right earflap of Allen's dark blue winter hat.

"Thank you!" Allen yelled, smiling so widely it felt like his face would split in two. "You're not that much of a jerk after all! Really, thank you so much!" Really, that arrogant, selfish and rude Pet wasn't so bad after all. Allen really had been right in wanting to help him. And he would! Allen now felt more determined than ever.

With a determined mental nod, Allen looked at the trees all around, his breath making a white cloud appear in front of his face.

* * *

_..._

* * *

Che. Kanda didn't need fucking ' _thank you'_ s, that was not why he'd done it! The fuck! Maybe he should go up to the kid and set him straight. Really, he should.

Or maybe just hit him with another pine cone. That should get the message along quite nicely. The brat should just go away and take his dear fucking cat with him and never come back. Kanda didn't want to see his face ever again.

He really, really didn't. He wanted the kid gone. He didn't want to see more of this.

Kanda glared at the human bastard and the little yellow fucker so cozy in his arms and wished they'd all just fucking _disappear_ and fucking hell, shut up with the thanking! Shut up! Just shut the fuck up!

Why wasn't the kid leaving? Why? He had his cat already. Wasn't he fucking happy? Shouldn't he go to his goddamn house to his goddamn parent and leave Kanda the fuck alone? He should.

"Could you… please come out?" the human brat said.

* * *

_..._

* * *

Kanda stared, black ears perked up in astonishment. What was this now?

"Please. I really want to thank you for saving Tim. I bet he would have died out there in the cold if you hadn't found him. I- I know you probably- that is- I mean…"

Kanda's ears flattened against his skull and he narrowed his eyes in suspicion. This couldn't be good. Wasn't the kid fucking happy with his little yellow cat? Was this related to the Shop?

Kanda slowly got on his knees, not bothering to shake off the bits of snow clinging to his clothes. He was ready to run any second now.

"Please come home with me!" Allen blurted out, his face, already pink from the cold, getting a darker shade. But he seemed to toughen up and went on with a determined face. "You shouldn't live out here by yourself! If you're hiding from someone, I can help you! If I ask Mana, I'm sure he'll agree!"

* * *

**...**

* * *

The feeling of being watched was still there. The Pet was still there. It was a good sign.

"We can help you. You won't be cold anymore. And food. There'll always be food. And you won't have to run all the time. Just hide in our house."

No sound. It was just like that time. Only the wind in the trees made a sound.

Allen decided to try another approach.

"Can't you at least come out? I want to talk to you. I want to thank you properly."

Not a word.

* * *

**. _.._**

* * *

Now from behind a tree, Kanda stared. It felt like until now someone had been driving a knife deep into his chest, and then twisting it. Or maybe Kanda himself had been the one doing the twisting.

And now the kid was asking Kanda to stay. To go home with him, even.

It annoyed Kanda. Made him want to punch the kid. But there was no longer a knife in his chest. Annoying, frustrating, terribly irritating, but soothing. What in the fucking hell. Kanda hated this type of people. Really, he did. They were the absolute _worst_.

Kanda stared at the kid, angry and surprised.

Allen stared at the trees, happy and hopeful. He really wanted to see the Pet. Take a good look, have a nice talk. Probably filled with insults and rude language, but it would still be interesting.

The hybrid watched the kid look around expectantly, clearly hoping to see Kanda emerge from the trees. "I promise we'll help you!" the Moyashi tried again. "So please come out?"

The Shop, its men, the forest, winter, lack of food, hunting, freedom. This human and its parent and their house with the nice smells and the fucking stupid cat and how much better he felt hearing those words for some reason. All this ran through Kanda's mind.

Allen waited, hope clear in his pretty pale face.

After a few more moments of silence, Kanda turned away and disappeared.

But for a second the corner of his lips curved up in the tiniest of smiles.

.

_Promise me you'll never forget me, because if I thought you would, I would never leave you._

_A. A. Milne, English humorist, creator of Winnie-the-Pooh  
_

.

_End of Chapter 4  
_

* * *

*that's actually a diaper…

* * *

**Omake**

Kanda was meditating.

Meditation had been an essential part of the day to him ever since it had been taught to him, not too long after he'd opened his eyes for the first time. It helped him clear his mind and control his emotions and his instincts. Meditation had always played a key role in his life, and even after escaping the Shop and hiding in the forest, that hadn't changed.

Now, sitting on the top branches of some evergreen tree, hidden in the shadow of its foliage and completely surrounded by the rustling of leaves, Kanda's mind was empty. The cold weather did not reach him. Legs folded, hands on his knees in the right position, back straight and long black tail relaxed and only moving with the wind, the whole word was his breathing: inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale. Inhale-

-And the scent of pure bliss filled his nose and washed over his senses. Warmth filled his entire body despite the cold. That scent… mouthwatering, mind-numbing, a siren's call impossible to resist that sank deep into his limbs, like hooks, and pulled him to a standing position, forcing him to move and seek the source of that smell, not that he was unwilling, he wanted it, wanted to be closer to whatever smelled like that, touch it, lick it, possess it-

* * *

"Here, kitty, kitty, kitty…" Allen called as he waved around and shook the bag filled with catnip, an unholy smirk plastered across his pretty face. "Here, kitty, kitty…"

* * *

 

_Untamable_

 

 

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> If you're wondering if I'm aware of awful and cringe-worthy this whole thing is, the answer is yes. Did you think it was a coincidence that this was orphaned?
> 
> Moving on. I've heard the fandom is mostly dead. Helloooo? Is anyone there? When I tried FF.net I could almost see the tumbleweeds rolling by, it's like a graveyard in there.
> 
> Anyway. Hello.
> 
> This story was my baby when I was at the height of my first foray into fandom, around 2009. There was a request on the DGM Kink Meme on LiveJournal (man, I feel old) that I decided to fulfill. My first attempt was so sucky I could barely stand it, so I reworked the whole thing from the ground up, built an entire universe for it, and started writing.
> 
> Aaaand I never finished.
> 
> Writing and fandom started just being too much for me, so I took a break. Ended up leaving the DGM fandom, but I still had every intention of finishing this story, and writing its sequel. But in those years after I went on break, there was a lot of procrastination, hatred for my own writing, laptop stealing, hard drives dying, IRL being tough, and other stuff happening, I won't bore you with the tale. Long story short: I wrote the chapter, rewrote it a bunch of times throughout those few years, lost it all again every time in several different ways. 
> 
> And now I have given up. I will not finish it. I will not write the sequel. I am DONE.
> 
> After uploading this to AO3, I'll orphan it. And in a year or two I'll delete Untamable from FFnet. My profile there will be left as a way to contact me.
> 
> You, who are reading this on AO3 right now: you wish this was finished? Maybe you'd like to give it a try yourself? All fine by me. Feel free to write as many of your own versions of this story, or just unofficial versions of the ending, as you want. You just want to play in this universe, using other characters? Also fine. You'd like to know more about details about this universe? Contact me on FF.net, I'll answer your questions.
> 
> If you'd like to write the OFFICIAL ending (and/or the sequel), stamped-in-approval-by-me, with the details I'd originally planned for it, again, feel free to get in contact with me through FF.net. I'll be easy to find, and I'll reply within a week. Most likely within 3 days. If I reject your offer, please know it's not because I don't like you or your writing or think you suck or anything horrible like that - I just don't think your style and mine mesh well. And if someone's going to write an official ending to this, it should blend more or less seamlessly with the rest of it, no?
> 
> Lastly, if you want to know how the official ending of Untamable would go: [yep, spoilers ahead, are you sure you want to read this? Here it comes] Kanda gets hurt and almost dies, Allen finds him in time and drags him home, Mana panics a little, aaaand in the end Kanda's life is saved somehow, yay. Kanda stays with them while he heals, and they all slowly become closer (not that you could tell, Kanda, you little tsundere), almost a happy little family. Once Kanda is practically healed he tries to leave, Allen goes after him, they yell at each other for a bit, Allen drags him back home. Mana hugs them both, they live happily ever after. The end.
> 
> [unless there's a sequel, which... well, there's a lot of suffering to be had before the happy end, let me just say that. Be glad I never got to write that.]
> 
> Also, one time Allen got to pet Kanda's ears while he was sleeping, because they looked soft and they're twitchy, they're funny. I think I wrote and posted that scene somewhere. I dunno, I thought it was an important thing to mention. Untamable may be forever incomplete, but the boys are alright.
> 
> Yeah, the boys are alright.


End file.
